It’s like the feeling you get right before you cry. But the tears don’t come. Instead, the feeling inside continues to spread, becoming more oppressive week by week and month by month. It’s loneliness. Perhaps the most complicated of all human emotions has led to a flood of scientific studies over the past decade.
Psychologists, neuroscientists and other researchers are trying to find out what biological mechanisms lie behind loneliness. And they provide answers that give hope.
We all feel lonely sooner or later in life. Most of the time the feeling depends on a transitional situation in which we are currently – or have to be. When we move to a new city, for example. Or start a new course of study. When we have lost our spouse, or our job.
Nevertheless, loneliness is not easy to recognize, neither for doctors nor researchers. For many people, loneliness disappears as quickly as it came. For example, if they join a hobby football club or enter into a romantic relationship. However, as the famous neuroscientist John Cacioppo once noted, loneliness is not necessarily tied to the absence of people. You can feel lonely even among people.
Those affected really despair because of their subjective feeling that they don’t have enough meaningful contacts. “They feel lonely because their social network doesn’t meet their expectations,” explains Daniel Russell, a professor of human development and family studies at Iowa State University to the “New York Times”. Russell helped develop the UCLA Loneliness Scale, which is widely used in research to measure the severity of loneliness with 20 statements.
Like in a labyrinth
Lonely people have the impression that they are alone in the world, even in company. They seem to be trapped in a labyrinth that they can’t find their way out of. During the time they spend wandering in the hallways, their loneliness manifests itself. It becomes chronic.
Two age groups in particular seem to be particularly affected by loneliness: the young and the old. In a study carried out in “The Journal of Psychology” published, the highest levels of loneliness are estimated for people under 25 and over 65. A large German population study came to a similar result. Other studies show that unemployed people, people with mental or physical disabilities, single parents and ethnic minorities have an increased risk of chronic loneliness.
© Sasha Freemind
It’s important to listen to the first biological alarm signals, otherwise the feeling risks becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. Came to this realization Researchers in the journal “Aging and Mental Health”. A team from Brunel University London conducted a long-term study with people over 50 years old. Those who worried about being lonely at some point were actually more likely to be lonely eight years later than those who didn’t worry.
Cascade of mental and physical consequences
When loneliness is repressed, it can become increasingly difficult to do anything about it. Depression, sleep disorders, anxiety, feelings of guilt, anger – a cascade of psychological symptoms can follow. Research suggests that chronic loneliness is also linked to physical and neurological problems, including increased susceptibility to infections, cognitive decline, stroke, dementia, cardiovascular disease, obesity or diabetes.
How the brain reshapes
If loneliness is the epidemic it is sometimes described as, what are its causes? Neuroscientists have discovered the first answers to this in the depths of the brain: lonely people perceive the world differently a team from the University of Southern California found out.
The resting state network of lonely people, which extends across several brain regions, is therefore larger. The network becomes active whenever our attention turns inward and we start thinking about others. Lonely people seem to have different thought processes. They ponder more, imagine social experiences, reflect on situations they have experienced and themselves in a new way.
On the one hand, lonely people seem to overinterpret a lot, and on the other hand, this is precisely why they perceive themselves to be “different”, which in turn reinforces their feeling of not being understood. Whether loneliness causes the changes in the brain or the changes lead to loneliness cannot yet be answered.
There are other neural markers: The amygdala, which triggers our fight-or-flight response and helps process emotional reactions, runs at full speed in lonely people: This, along with neural changes that increase physical stress, explains why lonely people People perceive social situations as a threat and not as an invitation. This hypervigilance puts lonely people on the defensive.
We could take 15 minutes every day to reach out to people we care about.
Vivek Hallegere Murthytop U.S. health official
Lonely people are more likely to feel hurt or treated harshly by loved ones, says “Psychology and Aging”. They would sometimes react with “cynical hostility” because they fear further rejection. In another study Researchers write of a “self-reinforcing loop”: lonely people would be inclined to criticize their friends because they feel threatened. This would cause them to retreat further and further. So they not only perceive the world differently, but as more threatening.
But there is hope: Neuroscientist Stephanie Cacioppo, wife of the late loneliness researcher John Cacioppo, is sure that the changes in the brain can be reversed. Those affected could break out of the vicious circle again. But how?
Loneliness in care
Researchers around the world want greater attention to be paid to invisible vulnerabilities in medical care. For example, the UCLA Loneliness Scale or similar questionnaires could be incorporated into an annual health screening, Russell suggests. However, this would require clear diagnostic criteria that show when a person is so lonely that the doctor should do something about it, he emphasizes – similar to other mental illnesses such as depression.
When the time comes, the patients could be referred to helpful organizations. The federal government recently adopted 111 measures to combat loneliness, including dozens of offers for self-help groups and various courses.
Patients could also be encouraged by their treating doctor to seek psychological help. Cognitive behavioral therapy, a form of talk therapy, According to experts, this seems to be the best way at the moment, improve the social skills of lonely people and dispel negative interpretations. Such therapy could also be helpful in helping those affected understand where their loneliness comes from and why it may return.
Pill for loneliness
In fact, some scientists like Stephanie Cacioppo are also looking for a “pill” against loneliness. The hormone pregnenolone reduced in clinical trials proven to stress stress and could help alleviate the symptoms of hypervigilance. However, such a drug, if widely used, would not quench the thirst for social contact, Cacioppo told The Guardian. Those affected can only take this into their own hands.
The most important changes will have to be made by lonely people themselves anyway. Experts cannot give one piece of advice that applies equally to everyone affected. Because everyone experiences loneliness differently and has different needs.
What lonely people can do
One thing is clear: lonely people have to look for contacts, even if they don’t feel like it. This could be a daily video call with your sister during lunch, the new book club, a friend with whom you regularly exercise, or social engagement. Even small, everyday conversations, i.e. fleeting encounters, could help lonely people feel more noticed.
It can help some people to develop one or two close friendships and finally have the courage to talk about their loneliness. Others may find it easier to meet more people and form fewer deep connections.
Vivek Hallegere Murthy believes that the most effective remedy for loneliness is the help of other people. The top US health official speaks of “medicine that happens in secret”: “It could mean taking 15 minutes every day to approach people we care about, introducing ourselves to our neighbors, asking around Take care of colleagues who may be having a hard time.” A good resolution for the holidays and the New Year.