Life in Bavaria began in the refugee camp. 2015. We, the newcomers, had visitors. Volunteer visit. I remember a woman who came and listened to us. I told her my story and we became friends. She and her boyfriend kept visiting us before inviting us to lunch. In a restaurant. This is where the real story begins.
An invitation to a restaurant? Why are you going to the restaurant with us and not to your house? Maybe they live in a distant city? Or you don’t have a kitchen? It is such questions that newcomers sometimes have to deal with. At least that’s how it was for me at the time. Our hosts explained themselves over food and drink at the inn table. They had chosen a neutral place, although – as was assured – they lived not far from this destination and also had a kitchen there. That didn’t increase our satisfaction much.
I was then and still am Syrian. In Syria, as far as I know, it is considered shameful to invite a friend or guest to a restaurant. It is appropriate there to invite you home. With an elaborately decorated table, an exquisite selection of drinks, a menu like from a star restaurant, garnished with relaxing sounds and a feel-good atmosphere that hovers over everything.
Munich 2015: When we had finished eating, our hostess called the waiter and paid the bill. We had to watch the money change hands. It was an extremely shameful event for us.
You might need to know more about the background. When we – when I was still living in Syria – invited someone to dinner, it was more than just an invitation. It was a mobilization of the whole family. women, men, children. Everyone takes part in preparing the food and welcoming the guests. It was an essence of family life.
There is a Syriac proverb: “Your mother-in-law loves you.” That’s what we say when someone unexpectedly comes to visit and we ask them to eat with us. It doesn’t matter whether the person actually has a mother-in-law or not.
This circumstance is a wonderful way to thoroughly examine your qualities as a host. But what actually makes a good host? What should you always have in stock for spontaneous guests and what to do if the visitor gets in your hair?
In Syria, a spontaneous guest is always expected. There must be excess bread. When a relative visits the village and knocks on the door, it has to be quick. My poor mother cuts up the meat, rushes to the boiling water and cuts up the onions. Tears run out of her eyes – and one wonders: because of the onions – or because of the stress?
This question alone is answer enough why it needs local. In the meantime, I’m happy when it goes to a neutral location. Quite a few of my friends feel the same way. It is probably not for nothing that German only has the term Wirtshaus – but also Gasthaus.