In the opinion of the civil engineer Horst Bellermann, who lives near Dresden and who fortunately leans towards not only static certainties but also aphoristic anarchy, the garden bed is proof that the earth is not turning: “It still has to be dug up. ” Every garden fan knows this saying. Because in the towel-sized Garden of Eden behind the end-of-terrace house as the last habitat of human longing (not so much for people like Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos, who will soon prefer to move to Mars), there are only three certainties.
First: the ground elder wins. Second, the nudibranchs remain. And thirdly: The endless work you have with it is in no way inferior to the actually infinite happiness in even the smallest of a washcloth garden. A little tip for Bezos and Musk: Of course, the three basic laws of human misery also apply on Mars. They are universal.
For this reason, on the one hand, “Smart Gardening” was invented. So, robotic lawn mowers, AI irrigation and the like. And on the other hand, this is one of the reasons why the current newsletter from the Association of German Cemetery Gardeners is greeted with a sigh as one would otherwise only greet a cavalry commanded by John Wayne, a long overdue love letter or the very last tweet from Sophia Thomalla. With a hot heart and thirsty desire. The title of the Friedhofsgärtner trade information for July is in this respect a unique promise in the unlikely times of general drought: “We pour, you enjoy”. If that doesn’t sound a bit disrespectful on site, you could almost say: That wakes the dead.
It is enchanting how animated the cemetery gardeners speak of their terrain
Which would be welcome if only because they could then take care of their last places of unrest themselves. After all, graves also make work. The ground cover knows that. It’s basically a great idea: the cemetery gardener’s watering and maintenance service, which can be booked on a monthly basis. “It quickly becomes clear”, they say in their bucket-reinforced rows, “that many loving grave plantings would not survive this summer without the tireless pouring effort.” Sad but true: the drought monitor cannot guarantee Kohl’s formula for happiness in blooming landscapes even in times of climate change. In truth, this promise is as secure as the pension.
Basically it is adorable how animated the cemetery gardeners speak of their terrain. This is reminiscent of the flyer from Gartenparadies: “Within the cemetery walls, visitors can find green oases of unique recreational value. Especially in summer the cemetery is a lively …” no, sorry, “a popular place. On a bench in the shade of trees can one to the last rest … “, no, hm, so” come to rest and listen to bees humming around “. And if you listen very carefully, your dear and faded mother whispers to you from below, rather harshly: “Watering service! Monthly subscription! That looks like you again, son!”