For the European elections on June 6, the EU has launched its own film festival, with the parties’ commercials being shown on evening TV. If you look at these short films through the eyes of a film buff, they reveal more about our political leaders than any policy program.
Every year, politicians try their hand at filmmaking and acting – especially when elections are coming up, like now for the European Parliament. Often lasting just one minute, the short films are designed to win back voters who have recently run away, and not completely alienate those who are allowed to vote for the first time. We took a close look at the spots from five parties: How Oscar-worthy are the actors, how flashy are the effects and what are these works really trying to tell us?
Keep threats at bay!
Psychothriller, D 2024, Director: Lars Klingbeil, 1 min., Cast: Katarina Barley, Olaf Scholz
The plot: The opening sequence is already a double whammy in film history: two chessboards with black and blood-red pieces, the squares are also black and red. A haunting female voice whispers confidentially from off-screen: “At a time when threats lurk in many squares, we need decision-makers who think about the next move when making their first move.” The ambiguity with which the term “square” is used here has the explosive power of a bazooka, but before you can recover, it continues – the game begins. Hands move the red pieces every second and checkmate the black ones in a merciless duel. Then a brutal cut and the surprise: the two players are Katarina Barley and Olaf Scholz, who actually just want to say how much they love each other, the SPD and the SPD voters.
The actors: SPD top candidate Katarina Barley is disappointingly pale in her film debut. It is the man at her side who steals the show – even though he isn’t doing anything. Olaf Scholz is said to have prepared for his role by studying a salt shaker for three weeks: He sits through the film with a minimalist expression, except for an emotional eruption at the end when he smiles quietly. In technical jargon, this is called underplaying.
Conclusion: Seldom has the futility of existence been presented so soberly. What power moves the black figures? Why think about the next move when all trains in Germany are constantly cancelled anyway? Questions that the film doesn’t even ask. Because “Keeping Threats at Bay” wants to be more: a film about great love that remains unfulfilled.
Do what counts!
Action film, Germany 2024, Director: Ricarda Lang and Omid Nouripour; 1 min., Actress: Terry Reintke, Supporting roles: Annalena Baerbock, Robert Habeck, Vladimir Putin, wind turbines, organic fruit and vegetables.
The plot: A woman in a black dress against a green background kneads her hands, looks concerned, then she begins to speak: “Our world is changing and that worries many people. Now is the time to solve the problems of our time.” Then, without any warning, the action explodes: We see Annalena Baerbock wearing a construction worker’s helmet in front of wind turbines, Robert Habeck sitting at his desk late at night with a worried expression. We see what they are fighting for: more wind turbines, girls’ soccer and a tray with an apple and a pepper. And then we see the enemy, his face is projected onto a wall in a dark room like a briefing for James Bond: It is Vladimir Putin. You have almost given up hope of a happy ending when the woman with the kneading hands appears again: “Being against it is not a solution. We do what counts.”
The actors: Terry Reintke proves as the woman with the kneading hands that she has mastered the acting craft inside out. Baerbock and Habeck convince with believable mournful expressions, the latter is said to have even bought a new heater to be able to portray his worry lines more credibly. However, it is Vladimir Putin who outshines everyone with his guest appearance as the ultimate villain.
Conclusion: End-time action from the “Green” studios, as always with perfectly cast actors and furious effects. But be careful: the chase, in which the camera chases after the tray with the healthy school breakfast, is not for the faint of heart!
Controversial in Europe
Chamber play, D 2024, Director: Bijan Djir-Sarai, 1:30 min., Actress: Dr. Marie-Agnes Strack-Zimmermann-
The plot: A strict woman, strict black and white pictures, strict words: “When you read about yourself, ‘Wow, the old woman is annoying'” – a dramatic pause, then Marie-Agnes Strack-Zimmermann says: “Yes, that’s right. Yes, I am old and yes, I am annoying.” There are also pictures of frown lines and downturned mouths. In between there are even more pictures: of a porcupine, of cats with glowing eyes, a goat, a cucumber stand. The world may be colorful and beautiful, but not here: This is bad mood as a program, and with this woman it will never end. Especially if she is elected.
The actress: She is already being considered a candidate for an Oscar because of her intense portrayal of a bitter, evil woman: Dr. Marie-Agnes Strack-Zimmermann. The grand dame of stomach ulcers uses the entire range of her diverse expressive possibilities, from beastliness to malice and grumpiness to threats and insults.
Conclusion: You can rely on the FDP studios: innovative imagery and an outstanding leading actress whose frown fills the entire screen. So shocking and haunting that people in Belgium are already considering evacuating Brussels if Strack-Zimmermann really starts work there.
In freedom. In safety. In Europe.
Road Movie, D 2024, Director: Carsten Linnemann, 1:17 min., Actors: Friedrich Merz, Ursula von der Leyen
The plot: Half a century after “Easy Rider” shaped the road movie, this film revolutionizes the genre again. Groovy Friedrich and Crazy Ursula take us on a crazy trip through Germany in search of the European dream. And indeed: On their way, the dynamic two meet many ordinary people who tell them about their ordinary lives. About freedom of market, freedom of travel, freedom of speech, freedom of violence. There is also no shortage of senselessness, when at the end of the film people spin around themselves with their arms outstretched and their children whirl around.
The actors: Until now, Friedrich Merz was only known as a cold math teacher in the comedy “Fack ju Habeck”. Now he can finally show that he can do so much more: with a lot of humor and warmth, he plays a cold geography teacher. A performance with which he degrades Ursula von der Leyen to a cue giver. That much legroom is a must!
Conclusion: Good material, but unfortunately this road movie never gets out of the garage – the chemistry between the main actors is just not right. The CDU studios say a remake is being prepared for the next elections. Shooting star Hendrick Wüst is said to have already auditioned for the role of Merz.
The official AfD election campaign ad
Heimatfilm, D 2024, 1:30 minutes, no direction and no script, Actor: Tino Chrupalla, Alice Weidel
The plot: This is truly unique in the history of party films. The AfD initially filmed a spot with its politician Maximilian Krah. But then both the leading candidate and the film were withdrawn overnight. Tino Chrupalla and Alice Weidel stepped in for him and improvised the entire film. Brave, but unfortunately numerous continuity errors crept in: whenever the keyword “Europe” is mentioned, officials are shown measuring the size of frozen pizzas, bringing asylum seekers across the border, banning combustion engines and wanting to take away our lovely CO2. Alice and Tino in Wonderland.
The actors: Alice Weidel and Tino Chrupalla seem like supporting actors in their own film – they only appear in the last 20 seconds and don’t even have any lines.
Conclusion: Maximilian Krah overshadows the entire film, he is present precisely through his absence. Industry insiders are rumoured that the cut-out actor is planning an autobiographical love story next: “Bridget Krah – SS for Breakfast”.