Rudy is green. Except for the tip of his right ear and his left hand, they’re pink. Instead of hair, he wears a purple feather on his head. Red notes are tied around his right hand, which seem to be waiting to be written on. Where other lips form a mouth, Rudi has a gaping hole. That has to be the case, because after all, Rudi is the grief killer. That’s what the kids called this little green guy they built together. And Rudi, the grief killer, doesn’t bear this name for nothing: anyone who is plagued by grief grabs one of the red slips of paper and writes it down, crumples up the paper and then throws it down Rudi’s throat. Then fog rises from it and indicates: The grief is killed.
In Rudi’s throat every sorrow has dissolved into a fog.
(Photo: Christian Endt)
The room in which Rudi is standing houses many other sculptures and paintings, easels and paint containers, overalls and tables covered with brightly colored newspaper. It is the studio of the “Ebersberger Kleeblatt” – a project for psychosocial support and aftercare for breast cancer patients at the Ebersberger Kreisklinik and their relatives.
In 2009, Cornelia Höß, the then chief physician for gynecology and obstetrics, was in charge of conceptually bundling various measures in terms of psychosocial help in this project and pushing ahead with the expansion of the offer. In 2017, the Bavarian Cancer Society even awarded the Ebersberger Kleeblatt third prize in the annual competition “Bavarian Cancer Patient Award” awarded. The award brought 1000 euros into the fundraiser – the project is financed purely by donations.
Today, the Kleeblatt team consists of seven people: Cornelia Höß, psycho-oncologist Cornelia Caspari, psychologist Inge Bäuml, art therapists Gaby Müller and Jutta Seyfried, dance therapist Andrea Baumgartner and Doris Wenninger, who is responsible for administration and coordination of the individual events.
Breast cancer often affects the life of an entire family
“When people are diagnosed with cancer, there is a lot of uncertainty: How bad is it? Will I die from it? Will it come back at some point?” Psycho-oncologist Cornelia Caspari sits across from Rudi, the grief killer, in the studio. To the left and right are her Kleeblatt colleagues Gaby Müller and Inge Bäuml. “In the case of breast cancer, there is also the fact that the women affected are often also the mothers of smaller children or adolescents,” Caspari continues. Cancer does not only enter the life of a woman, but also the life of a family – it is not only the affected persons who are affected.
Art therapist Gaby Müller, psycho-oncologist Cornelia Caspari and psychologist Inge Bäuml (from left) belong to the seven-strong Kleeblatt team.
(Photo: Christian Endt)
That is why the Kleeblatt not only includes group offers for breast cancer patients in the form of talk, dance and art therapies, sports groups and cosmetics seminars. The project also includes family consultation hours, seminars to which relatives are also invited, and art workshops for children and young people from affected families. Thus, the shamrock in the case of breast cancer is in the spirit of holistic care.
So it’s not just about pure medicine. “It’s important to us to work hand in hand in every respect,” says Caspari. The individual needs of the patients and their families and friends have top priority: The cloverleaf is an accompaniment on each of these very personal paths through the time of therapy and afterwards – an offer of support, without any pressure.
Caspari, Müller and Bäuml report on difficult situations. For example, there are women who want to keep cancer as far away from their children as possible – to protect them, of course, to keep them light-hearted. In this sense, it is often not discussed that mom’s appearance will change, that she will lose her hair and wear a wig. Most of the time, the children still notice that something is wrong. But they don’t ask, they don’t want to burden the parents with their questions. “This creates an alliance of silence,” explains Inge Bäuml.
But: “Children can deal with the truth very well,” Bäuml continues. A lot is just a question of the right communication. As a psychologist, Bäuml is responsible for the family consultation hours in the Kleeblatt, where exactly such questions can be discussed. This would not change the fact that cancer runs in the family, says Caspari. “But talking about it can be a relief.”
Preventative counseling is helpful for most children
Again and again, Bäuml and Caspari experience that affected families do not contact them until long after the diagnosis – when they notice a change in the child’s behavior. Of course, there is also an offer for individual discussions and family consultations. “But in most cases, a lot of bad things can be avoided with preventive advice,” says Bäuml.
For example, that the children associate misconceptions with their mother’s illness because they have little use for the term “breast cancer” or cancer in general. “Cancer is an animal that eats the body from the inside.” “Cancer is contagious, so I don’t dare to cuddle with mom anymore.” “You have to die of cancer, I know that for sure.” “The chemo doesn’t help at all because mom’s hair is falling out and she’s still getting worse afterwards.” All sentences that Bäuml has heard from children over the years.
In the art workshops, on the other hand, cancer is deliberately not a topic that is taken up verbally, as therapist Gaby Müller explains. After all, “being normal,” as she calls it, is a great wish for many children despite everything. Between washing out the brush and getting paint, a sentence like: “I no longer believe mom when she says she’s fine.” That’s why the art workshop is always led by Müller and her colleague Jutta Seyfried, that is, in pairs. So, if necessary, one of the women can go out with a child and talk to him alone.
Ricky, the courage hen, lays chocolate eggs that are wrapped in aluminum foil – there is always an encouraging slogan inside.
(Photo: Christian Endt)
Participation in the workshops is free of charge, each child can come as often as they want. Everyone can bring a friend for the first time. Many take the fear of a strange group, as Müller explains. It can also have a relieving effect on the children when they realize that breast cancer doesn’t have to be a secret from their best friend – if their best friend can pull a chocolate egg wrapped in aluminum foil and an encouraging slogan out of Ricky . Ricky, this is Muthuhn, a friend of Rudi the Sorrow Killer, who is decorated with colorful feathers.
There is more information about the offers of the Ebersberger Kleeblatt and contact options on-line.