How NOT to Talk About Race

An African-American friend describes the following scenario: “My son L. was invited to a neighbor’s seventh birthday party. When we arrived, the neighbor child introduced L. to the small circle of other children, all of whom were white; he did so in hushed tones, seemingly so that adults wouldn’t hear. ‘This is my friend L.,’ he whispered. ‘He’s Black!’ He said it with giddy pride, as though L. were an exotic prize, an unusual triumph, a trophy specimen.”

What struck my friend most was not that the children were marveling at Blackness as something they had seemingly never encountered, but that the young host whispered it. “He was self-conscious,” she said. “He lowered his voice as though he had learned that he shouldn’t say it aloud, that it was a kind of secret—if in plain sight.” He had somehow learned that race shouldn’t be seen, and that the conspicuity of Blackness imposed a burden of comportment.

My friend was caught short by it at the time, but after thought and discussion about what she might do in the future, she concluded that the situation required something simple, like an adult in the room who might have calmly intervened and told them that they didn’t have to whisper. Why were they acting as though it were a secret? The tougher question, of course, is for the other adults: Why might this have been the first time their children had seen a Black person? Children point at, whisper about, marvel at what they don’t know. But the point of an integrated education is to get to know one another in generally welcoming ways.

Here’s my grown-up tug of recognition about that birthday party: I graduated from law school in 1975. The movie The Paper Chase came out around that time, and if you’ve ever seen it, you’ve seen law school as it was when I attended Harvard: almost entirely white, almost entirely male. No tenure-track women on the faculty and only one recently hired Black man, Derrick Bell. Those numbers alone could account for why Bell is often hailed as the founder of critical race theory. Indeed, the very fact of minorities and women appearing in that space at that time often marked us as contrarian upstarts before we even opened our mouths. Our numbers would change for the better thanks to affirmative action, but even such relatively small gains in previously homogeneous cartographies make some people feel as though they are drowning among the unfamiliar and the undeserving.

Students in those days learned about the “reasonable man” standard in criminal law, under which the murder of one’s wandering wife could be mitigated by the “heat of passion” defense. In constitutional law, I learned everything there was to know about the commerce clause, but nary a word about the civil rights struggle to overturn Jim Crow laws and integrate workplaces, unions, schools, bathrooms, neighborhoods. That “extra” material was confined to optional elective classes. The few classes about minority interests were sifted out and segregated from the required courses.

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