“We will tell our children that we met at the museum. Who of the Tinder users has not already come across this kind of poetic-poetic bio by swiping on the dating app? Because between the promise of a great story, chid photos and reciprocal matches, the Tinder adventure sometimes starts very well. Behind the beautiful profiles, however, we can find “dirty guys”, meet the wrong people.
The safety of its users? A major problem, which Tinder claims to manage by having put in place many control tools. “The safety of Tinder members has always been a priority, confirms to 20 minutes Miguel Neves Da Costa, communication manager at Tinder. It has been part of our DNA since we introduced the “Match” function which requires mutual consent to start a conversation. »
From disappointment to trauma
The fact remains that the testimonies of encounters that go badly, very badly, are legion. Evoking discomfort and trauma, Tinder subscribers assure today that they will not set foot on the platform or on any other for that matter. Among them, Sandra*. “I had a date one night at a bar in my town. The guy was nice but there was no chemistry. We agreed when we left the bar: everyone goes home and then there you go, ”says the young woman who responded to our call for testimonials. Nothing exceptional so far.
These are the rules of dates, this passage from the virtual “match” to the real date which can often have a taste of disillusionment. Only then, the date turns to trauma: “A few days pass and one evening when I come home from work I don’t feel very comfortable, I turn around and he was there”, says the young woman, who thus realizes that her Tinder is a “forcer”. The man had followed her everywhere since their first meeting, even to the foot of her building. Harassment that will end only when the young woman threatens to call the police: “He ended up disappearing, just like his profile on Tinder. I had the scare of my life and since then I no longer go on dating apps. »
Bypassing controls is easy
“People lie massively, on their photos, on their profile, on their marital status. It is unfortunately very common, ”says our other reader, Marion. Like her, Tinder is not fooled and claims to have launched many security features over the past two years that are accessible to everyone around the world. Among them, the ability to validate a profile or the “video chat”. After consulting some of them, it would seem that they are still easily circumvented.
The “profile verification” function, first. In theory, this function allows an artificial intelligence to check whether behind the photos is the right and real person. But now, verification is not mandatory when creating an account but only encouraged by Tinder. Another example: “bio guidance”. According to the Tinder Safety Policy, this profile description advice feature “is an extra step to ensure members understand what’s acceptable on Tinder.” Clearly, the tool accompanies the writing of bio to avoid “hello, you want to see my ****”. On paper (or rather the screen), the functionality makes sense, but you still have to be willing to play the game of respect for the person and consent beyond the app. And it’s not Marion, reader of 20 minutes, which will contradict us: “For my part, after four years of dating application, I obviously received a lot of dick pics. »
Video chat, very useful
In the face of verbal abuse, online harassment, indecent proposals and even aggression, Tinder has nevertheless put in place useful tools. In October 2020, the digital love giant launched a security feature which, this time, seems to be in tune with the reality of its users. Called the “video chat”, it takes the form of a video call integrated into the app which “allows you to meet virtually, to verify that the match is authentic and to better assess whether the chemistry exists before a real date” .
Another advance on the Tinder side: its “reporting” option. Thanks to the latter, users can report a person directly from a profile and contact the safety center or the Tinder team online at any time. “From there, the team takes the appropriate measures with the aim of making the community safer and more respectful,” assures 20 minutes Miguel Neves Da Costa.
“Never again Tinder”
Finally, Tinder has set up an armada of bots to support the work of the app’s security teams. The “Does This Bother You?” (Do you mind?) as a question asked of members when they receive a potentially offensive message. A “yes” is enough to launch a report to the Tinder teams. Or the “Are You Sure?” (Are you sure?) that appears as a pop-up on the screen of anyone about to launch a message out of the nails.
Still, despite all these barriers, testimonies of “date from hell” are linked. “I know that Tinder is not responsible for the behavior of a guy, the one he has once in “real life”, but you should be able to be sure to go on a date without freaking out about each other. find in front of Roger rather than David or in front of a man who makes inappropriate comments or gestures, ”summarizes Céline. And the 35-year-old young woman added: “Personally, I hear more and more creepy stories despite all the solutions put in place by the app you told me about. Tinder’s fault? Yes, but not only. It’s just one more tool that allows those who want it, often men, to be dangerous even more quietly. »
And if for Sabrina, the story traditionally begins with “a match, very nice discussions. A first meeting in public, during which everything goes well”, it will end in violence, in pain. During the second meeting, Sabrina agrees to join her date at his house and everything changes: “He forced me to have sex with him”, confides the young woman bluntly to 20 minutes. Traumatized by this rape, she filed a complaint at the police station and concluded her chilling testimony with “never again Tinder”.
*Assumed first name