Munich, August 25th. On Friday, the CSU presented a 100-point plan with “conditions and precautions” for a coalition with the Greens after the election under the motto “actions instead of bags”. With a “restriction to the most necessary contacts” one wants to minimize the “risk of provocation” by the Greens, said CSU General Secretary Martin Huber in Munich. In practice, this means, for example, that the coalition committee would meet in hybrid form: “Colleague Hartmann on site, all other Greens via zoom and camera off.”
According to Huber, the three green ministries would be located in Alzenau, Waldsassen and in the Czech border town of Prášily as part of the decentralization process. In the coalition agreement, the Greens would have to declare in lieu of an oath that they would “forgo an active agricultural policy”. In the state parliament, all speeches by Katharina Schulze are to be synchronized live with a “pleasant, settled male voice with a slight dialect coloring”.
Structural changes are also planned: A “discreet but effective privacy screen” is to be erected between the CSU and Green factions. The defibrillator box in the hall would be supplemented by a compartment from which CSU MPs can take laminated photos of Hubert Aiwanger in stressful situations. In consultation with the President of the State Parliament, Ilse Aigner (CSU), the chair of FDP MP Martin Hagen would be mounted right next to the cabinet bench. From there, Hagen should keep waving to the plenum to calm the CSU parliamentary group. This also applies in the event that the FDP misses entry into the state parliament. Hagen would then be formally listed as an employee of the stenographic service.
Terms like “Andreas” and “Scheuer” are forbidden
In addition, Green MPs and ministers should commit in writing to refraining from using certain “trigger terms”, including “wind power expansion”, “cannabis legalization”, “Andreas”, “Scheuer” and “toll”. At home in the constituency, CSU MPs are allowed to act as if the coalition with the Free Voters continues (“positive right of denial”). Based on the “Spezi coalition”, the alliance with the Greens would be the “Sprite coalition”, according to Huber: “as invisible as possible”.
Huber emphasized that one was “of course” ready to make concessions to the Greens. So there should be a “Veggie Day” in the state parliament restaurant, on February 18, 2037. In addition, the Prášily place of work is exempt from the gender ban. “In a good coalition, both partners must find each other,” said Huber.