Stefanie Stahl is a best-selling author and psychotherapist, Lukas Klaschinski is a podcast star and psychologist – together they write a column every two weeks about topics related to love, family and relationships. This time it’s about infidelity in the relationship.
By Stefanie Stahl and Lukas Klaschinski
Lukas Klaschinski: We humans are relationship animals. Our longing for loyalty in partnerships is not least the desire for a deep, secure bond. It is all the more hurtful when this relationship of trust is broken when the partner cheats. However, when it comes to affairs, I observe a very interesting ambivalence: almost all people, 97 percent, expect loyalty from their partner. But at the same time, almost a third of all people in a relationship have cheated at some point; according to some estimates, the figure is as high as two thirds.
Stefanie Stahl: In fact, the topic of cheating is one that concerns many people and many couples. In a large study by the University of Göttingen, 25 percent of those surveyed said they had problems in the area of ”loyalty” in their current relationships. And these were one of the most serious problems. I also had to deal with this topic frequently in my practice. Hardly anything has a stronger impact on a relationship than the infidelity meteorite. Some couples made it through this crisis, others fell apart.
Lukas Klaschinski: In your experience, what are the reasons for an affair or even a longer affair?