There is probably no competitive discipline on this planet rich in competitive disciplines that requires as little physical activity as the one whose champion is currently being determined in Montenegro. The international idleness championship is taking place in the village of Brezna for the twelfth time – introduced as an ironic reaction to the cliché that Montenegrins are a cozy bunch. The most important rule in competition: stay lying down. Anyone who sits down or stands up is thrown out. The Serbian Jovan Crncanin, 33 years old, has been competing with his opponents for more than a month, and there are now only four 21 participants left. Crncanin can be reached for an interview in the middle of the competition. Lying down, of course.
SZ: Mr. Crncanin, are you lying comfortably?
Jovan Crncanin: Yes, yes. I’m lying in a sleeping bag on a foam mattress. It’s not very thick, but good enough to lie comfortably.
When did you realize that chilling was your great talent?
My mother always criticizes me for being too lazy. But now I could tell her: 32 years of practice are finally paying off.
You have been lying on your foam mattress for more than a month now. What do you do all day?
Nothing special. We are allowed to use cell phones and laptops. The women prefer to listen to music, the men, especially me, watch a lot of football on live streams. Of course, we also look at what’s going on on social media. And we get food three times a day, all the drinks we want, sweets, ice cream, coffee. It’s a bit difficult to eat while lying down, but we can at least stand up about 30 centimeters to do so.
And your work? Do you work from home?
Yes, I hardly have to go to the office for my job anyway. I’m a marketing manager at a football club, most of my work happens on the computer. I also work from here now – although my colleague would probably see it differently, he’s currently working a little more. We didn’t expect this to take so long. In the beginning, he and everyone around me supported me a lot. At some point I started thinking about how much longer I could expect them to do this. But my colleague said: “You’ve come this far, there’s no turning back now. See it through to the end.” I’ll have to repay him with a lot of beer when I get home.
Jovan Crncanin is a marketing manager at a football club – he is currently working from home.
(Photo: private)
Lying down all the time is very unhealthy for your heart, lungs and muscles. In this respect, the competition sounds a bit like a near-death experience.
No, believe me: we all feel really good. Some of us have gotten fatter, but we are actually in very good shape. We have a 15-minute break three times a day, during which we can also walk around or run. And we all agreed that if anything hurts us, we would stop immediately.
Would you like a television broadcast for the next championship? That would definitely be incredibly exciting.
I heard there really are plans for a transfer. But I don’t know why that would be interesting to anyone. And let’s be honest: It can’t be healthy to lie down for a month, even if we don’t have any problems. I don’t think this competition should be idealized.
Will you win the slacker title in the end?
That’s why I came and I’m ready for it. But I can’t be sure, nobody here can. I would be thrilled if it were over soon. I would really rather do anything right now than lie around here.
Then why are you even participating?
At the beginning I only came because of the 1000 euros that could be won. But I also want to be a kind of role model now. I work in a football club, we’re not that good, stable midfield. I want to show the players that with the right attitude you can achieve anything.
And with the 1000 euros you probably want to buy a king-size bed?
Believe me: the money has already been earmarked for technical stuff and especially for the beer we will drink at home. I can’t wait to see everyone again, drink and party. I’ll probably go to the pub first and then go home. I’ll definitely sleep as little as possible – I’ve done enough for the next year.
You can find further episodes of the SZ series “A Call to …” here.