This Week In Trash
Barth, Hummels and “The Passion”: What you missed in gossip this week
This week marked the brief glow of Celine Bethmann
© Marcel Kusch / Picture Alliance
You don’t have to waste precious time with gossip TV and gossip magazines (but of course you can). Anyone who wants to have a say in the schoolyard or in the coffee corner without doing all the quark in real time will be brought up to date here!
If you managed to evade the gossip, trash, celebrity drama this week, tell us how you did it, please. Because the three dominant topics this week were SO dominant that even people who don’t actually watch TV, football anyway, and would rather read Hegel than the Bible, should have noticed it.
Once there was the case of Mats Hummels. The fundamentally solid and sympathetic Borussia Dortmund kicker is officially still married, there was no official separation, but there have been violent rumors of separation for a good two years. He now came out as single (“Oh God, yes”) to a 23-year-old model, which indelicately made it public, causing the internet to explode. Now everyone wants to know with whom Mr. Hummels has or had or could have something. Sorry, it can’t be repeated here in detail as the story involves several women and is really very complex, but you can read it here.
A striking number of green bikinis
After the article was published, things went even further… first, model Céline Bethmann shared vacation photos in a green bikini made of crocheted fabric that looked amazingly similar to the one in which Hummels’ estranged wife Cathy had posed for an Instagram picture shortly before. An obvious diss. The third young lady involved, table tennis player Lisa Straube, first shared evidence on her Insta-Stories that someone had scratched her car, then she shared a photo of a baby-sized Dortmund jersey showing that by a player – name not recognizable – had been signed: “For Vincent”. So if you’re not guessing who Vincent is, who Vincent’s father is, who his mother is and which player (we have an idea) signed there, there’s no helping them.
Then comedian Mario Barth took the train. Apparently for the first time in many years, because he found everything about it very strange and exciting. Also the fact that masks are still compulsory on the train, even if you have “bought a whole compartment” so that you can keep to yourself with your two buddies. You can read more about Mr. Barth’s adventurous train journey here and here. After that, you can also watch the 49-year-old’s almost 45-minute Instagram video when you should be done with the hired labor or washing the dishes and have nothing else to do. You can see how the comedian is expelled from the beautiful ICE station in Hanau for not wearing a mask and then having a lengthy discussion.
Jesus, Judas and Thomas Gottschalk
And then the highlight of the week, and that already on Wednesday: “The Passion” on RTL. Some people dismiss the live spectacle with Jesus and Thomas Gottschalk as trash TV afterwards, but that really wasn’t it. It was just the kind of campfire TV we all need right now. The astonished and amused people were on Twitter on fireto somehow comment on what you see. Great fun. Yes, it’s true, next time (there could actually be a next time, yay!) RTL should hire screenwriters and/or dramaturges, and maybe not claim so often that the Easter story doesn’t really have anything to do with religion . But come on, we would all have been disappointed if “The Passion” had made sense and hadn’t been the currywurst-soaked fever dream that we were allowed to see on Wednesday evening – and that we – just like that – had hoped for.
Mats Hummels also recognized it quite correctly: If the coming week wants to keep up with this one, then something has to happen properly … how that should be possible, however, just exceeds our imagination.