“Pov: your ex is your number 1 fan”. On TikTok, a young Marseillaise follows the thread of discussions with her former boyfriend. On each of his stories published on his Instagram, he reacts. “Too strong my darling” during a trip to the bowling alley. “I want to be in the photo with you too” for a selfie in front of the mirror. “Mama bombs the little lady” in front of a photo of her. If in the comments, Internet users doubt the veracity of these messages, there is nothing abnormal about this behavior on social networks today among “digital natives”. According to a study published this Thursday by the IFOP for the Lemon.fr site carried out on 1,000 young French men and women, Social networks represent a new challenge in the romantic relationships of 15-34 year olds. Previously the link could be cut more easily after a break-up and must now be articulated according to the stories of the ex-partner.
According to the survey, 64% of young people questioned think that it is possible to maintain a friendship with an ex, but half of them (35%) still admit to a form of ambiguity. An ambiguity which can also become a source of tension in their new relationships, both in real life and on social networks. 80% admit to being embarrassed that their boyfriend continues to talk to their ex online and keeps photos of them. Seeing your boyfriend like your ex’s content bothers you almost as much (76%), as does following your ex on social media (74%).
From stalking to leaking nude photos
If the number of young people keeping in touch with their ex (40%) has not increased significantly compared to ten years ago, social networks are accentuating the practice, even making it worse. After a breakup, 88% of young people admit to having already followed their ex’s profile in the first month of the breakup, including 18% at least once a day compared to 42% at least once a week. A very ordinary practice which sometimes can turn into a more harmful habit. 63% of those surveyed admitted to checking to see if their ex had viewed their stories and 57% had already checked to see if their ex was online. That’s slightly more than the share of people who check whether their ex follows new people (45%) and those who ask their friends to visit their ex’s profile for them (44%). Even more creative, 29% admit to having created a fake account to spy on them. Most being men.
In addition to this very advanced practice of stalking, exes are not without resources to make each other regret them and why not make the other person jealous from time to time. After a breakup, 54% admit to having voluntarily posted publications in which they appeared happy, 43% deliberately liked photos of people with attractive physique and 42% have already posted a publication showing a form of intimacy with another person . Still others go much further and use social media to get revenge. For example, 26% have already denigrated their ex to give them a bad reputation on social networks. Worse still, 25% have already sent a naked photo of their ex to other people. A predominantly male practice (40%).
To avoid these somewhat dangerous practices, some are more radical. 62% explain that they have already blocked their ex and deleted all exchanges with their account while 31% admit to having asked their friends to delete (or in turn block) their ex. However, over time, the study shows that practices tend to decrease on social networks. If two thirds of young people say they have already stalked their ex after their breakup, most have cut off contact after several years and during new relationships. Only 21% of them continue to follow their ex after several years.