Relaxed atmosphere: At the open meeting in the “House of the Family”, young parents can also exchange ideas with one another on questions of upbringing.
(Photo: Claus Schunk)
At home alone with a newborn baby is an exciting, difficult and sometimes frightening situation for every mother and father. “Especially with a corona baby,” says Sandra Tillmann, head of the “House of the Family” in Taufkirchen. A “corona baby” is not an infected child, but a term that was coined among parents and educators during the pandemic: children who were born during the lockdowns.
“That was particularly bad,” says Tillmann. “No contacts, no grandparents who jump in, no cafés where you could meet a friend.” And also the fears of the situation in general and of the illness. The employees in the “House of the Family”, run by the Integra association, knew exactly during the first lockdown that many young parents were now slipping into a crisis because they would not be cared for by teachers and midwives. Of course, they immediately switched to telephone advice, but that was not the same. The midwives insisted on making home visits anyway – under all hygiene regulations. Because in such a situation, giving tips to a helpless mother from afar would not have been enough. It was also necessary to look at the baby. And a mother who may have a breast infection needs personal advice. The “Stilltreff”, however, had to be canceled, instead there was a telephone consultation.
The telephones remained incredibly silent, especially in the first few weeks of the first lockdown, report Sandra Tillmann, her deputy Anna Hoffmann and Petra Esch from the family base, who is also regularly represented in the “Haus der Familie” in Taufkirchener Postweg. Perhaps it was because at first it was thought that the situation would be overcome quickly. But the lockdown was extended again and again and the teachers became more and more aware of the extreme situation of many families.
How exactly it had passed in the time, however, they only found out really and in detail when the “open meeting” was one again after the lockdowns, as usual Tuesday through Friday from 8.30 a.m. to 11 a.m. for Parents with 0 to 3 year olds and Tuesday and Thursday from 2.45 p.m. to 5 p.m. for older children. “It’s often the small things that make a big difference,” says Tillmann. As long as the restaurants were closed, no coffee was allowed to serve in the meeting place, the first meetings, which were limited to only three mothers with children, were not as relaxed as usual.
But when the coffee machine was running again, everything came to light. “I went to the café and from then on there was only listening, listening,” says Petra Esch. A mother of two children told her how things had been in the four-room apartment over the many months. The daughter, who was still in kindergarten, coped best with it. But the son, a very independent elementary school student, “blocked”. The father, on the other hand, “barricaded himself in the kitchen” because he had to work and demanded rest. “The fathers often pulled themselves out,” Esch learned.
Another mother with older children reported that she herself had to work full-time in an emergency care, the daughter graduated from high school, the son was studying. The father was sitting in the bedroom, the laptop on the ironing board. Many fathers even worked from bed, and the children would say: “Dad doesn’t get up anymore!” Nor did they understand that the father was at home but not there for them. In one family, the father opened his office in the nursery – and never moved out. The daughter, on the other hand, was doing her homework in the hallway.
From swings hung in the apartment for four-year-olds who did not want to believe that the playgrounds were really closed and who had to check it every day, to difficult changes back to daycare, especially after the second lockdown – so much had accumulated with the mothers and had to be communicated. “Once a lockdown, many children still felt like a vacation,” says Tillmann. “But after the second time, which was much longer, many had big problems. Many children cried again when they said goodbye to their parents who took them to daycare.”
Many fears have also remained with the children. “They take illnesses much harder now,” says Tillmann. At the very beginning it was even worse, when they “panicked with every cold”. But even now the fear of illness is even stronger, and the fact that you have to keep taking the tests also contributes to this. And that in view of the fact that many children are meanwhile malade much more often and for longer because their immune system is weakened by the hygiene measures. “They are often sick for two weeks,” said Tillmann.
After all these bad times and various problems, the parents are incredibly happy to be able to come back to the “Open Meeting”. Of course with the 3-G rule and with masks. But the important thing is that they are no longer alone. “I am so glad that I can come to you” is a sentence that the supervisors hear very often, and “It is so great that you always have an open ear”. The children were also visibly happy after their return. “They didn’t argue at all,” said Tillmann.
The “Theater in the Garden” in summer was also a great experience, for which all parents and children thanked them many times. 60 families had a picnic and saw “Oh how beautiful is Panama”. In September there was another “children’s week” with a daily changing program, such as puppeteers or magicians. The “Haus der Familie” would like to use the donations from the SZ Advent calendar for such healing events that “Corona families” are longing for.