This is a question that all parents of a child entering 6th grade ask themselves: should they be provided with their first mobile phone? And even if this small object is prohibited in college! A purchase that many parents gladly make, because they want to be able to reach their child outside of class. As Nathalie, who responded to our call for witnesses, attests: “I gave my son an old cell phone so that he could tell me each time he arrived at college and each time he left, to have a good day without having to worry. “. It is also to be secure that Gwenaëlle has invested in a laptop for her son: “We live in the countryside, he has to take the bus. If he finishes earlier or in the event of a problem, he can contact us so that we can pick him up. »
For Christophe, no debate, his son will have this object in his pocket at the start of the school year: “Of course he needs a laptop! You have to move with the times and stop looking for problems where there are none,” he said. Teenagers also want to be equipped because they want to be able to communicate with their friends other than through their parents’ laptops. This is the case of Sara’s daughter: “She has been asking me for a phone for two years now, because some children have them very early. This year, she will have my old smartphone.” Olivier also made up his mind to make this purchase to please his child: “Even if we would have preferred to wait longer, it’s an object that marks the group’s integration (wrongly?)”.
“The phone will only be used for his journeys”
However, there is no question of letting their young teenager become addicted or surf on any site. Many parents have therefore set certain rules and put safeguards, like Sara: “I installed parental controls that I manage with my smartphone. It allows me to manage the time she spends on her phone and the apps she uses. She knows that there are rules, at the risk of not being able to use her phone anymore, that social networks are prohibited and that I can look at her phone (contacts, messages) at any time. Gwenaëlle also took the lead: “We downloaded the Family link application in order to control its use and limit its time”. Fanny has opted for a limited plan, at 2 euros per month: “We control what he watches and the time is blocked at 1 hour a day, the telephone is locked from 8.30 p.m. to 7 a.m. »
To limit all the risks for her son, Maud chose a very basic telephone: “He has no access to the Internet, nor to any application or social networks. Nor to photos. It’s just a phone for calling. Which is more than enough for his age. “Noémie, she decided that the cell phone would not be available to her child 24 hours a day: “The phone will only be used for his journeys, otherwise he will be taken back. »
“It’s making them addicted to a drug”
Conversely, the telephone is banned in some families for young college students. Proof : the facebook group “Parents united against smartphones before 15 years” has just exceeded 15,000 members. The latter want to limit the exposure of their youngest teenagers to screens and delay as much as possible the moment when they strum frantically. Like Sandrine: “No telephone for 15 years! “, she says. This is the choice Alice made for her daughter: “We are not against screens, but against the sterility of certain screens. She has a landline phone available, our cell phones if necessary to contact her friends. But also a family computer, on which she can navigate in the living room. We believe that the cell phone physically isolates, it takes time to end up not sharing much… And that there is an age for everything. This other reader of 20 minutes is even more negative: “Smartphones are not good for children and teenagers. It’s like buying them a pack of cigarettes a day, it’s making them addicted to a drug and creating family tensions. »
Marilyne also showered the hopes of her son Théo, who is returning to college: “I told him that he would wait like his big brother, who had him for his entry into 4th grade. I think they are already enough in front of the screens without adding one more. If necessary, they know they can go to school life and ask to call me. “Catherine has found an alternative for her daughter:” I bought her a connected watch, because she will take the city bus. With the possibility to call only saved numbers, a GPS tracker and an SOS button in case of emergency. »
Dealing with criticism… A habit for parents who refuse
Still, parents who decide not to offer a phone to their little schoolboy are sometimes misunderstood by those around them. As Alice says: “Many people around us think we have been, sometimes laugh. “Sunny also has to justify herself each time: “The harassment worries me and I don’t think my daughter is mature enough to understand everything that the Internet encompasses… But it’s difficult to defend her opinion against people who tell my daughter that ‘she’ll be corny and it’ll be a shame not to have a phone… But I’m holding on! »