TV tip
When people don’t want sex: Arte documentary
Francois is 47 years old. In his youth he was often looking for something more than just sex, which always led to disappointments. Photo: Zadig Productions/ARTE France/dpa
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In a completely sexualized society, abstinent people do not fit into the picture. What is life like when one of the supposed basic human needs remains unsatisfied?
The French Chantal (60) comes from the country. “I only had sexuality in animals. Cats and dogs did. But it had nothing to do with people, »she says into the camera.
She was never enlightened, nor were her mother and grandmother and their ancestors. “I am the first in the family to explain to my child what sex is. It wasn’t talked about.”
Nevertheless, one felt that sex was something dirty, reprehensible and dangerous, especially for women. She has never experienced fulfilling sexuality, the good-looking Best-Agerin describes in the Arte documentary “No Sex” on Wednesday at 9:55 p.m. Chantal says she slept with men to get affection, for example. The first sex after the birth of her daughter changed everything. From that point on, her body completely refused sexuality.
Can you live like this? But sex is everywhere. Never before in the history of the Western world has the subject been dealt with as casually as it is today. But one taboo has remained: What about the people who don’t have sex or don’t have it anymore? What is life like if you voluntarily or involuntarily renounce the satisfaction of this supposedly important human need?
Like a chamber play, director Didier Cros lets one person after the other have their say and outlines so many different reasons why you don’t want to go to bed with other people. Francois (47), for example: “As a teenager, I traveled a lot. And I’ve found that given the many opportunities I’ve had, I’ve had very few accomplishments. But maybe that was my own personal problem. I was just too idealistic. From the beginning I was always looking for love.” His “first time” was a huge disappointment. One of many.
Arte about the documentary: “In the exchange with abstinent people, you understand a lot about the relevance of sex for self-image and gain a new perspective on modern society. Many people feel that the ongoing topic is a compulsion. The pressure to perform does not stop at desire. The supposedly liberated body is in reality subjected to new dictates.” It’s a film worth seeing about people who live against the current and are not lonely.
A couple also has their say, Jérémy (29) and Coralie (26), both asexual. “For us, sex is similar to jogging,” she says. “Just because you can walk and you force yourself to do it doesn’t mean it’s fun. And we don’t like jogging, so we don’t jog. We don’t like sex, so let’s leave it.”