In the middle of … Erfurt
(Illustration: Marc Herold)
Anyone who drives ICE trains often listens in whether they like it or not. Unforgotten is the young gentleman who took turns calling two women and assuring them of his loyalty and love. Or the woman who actually confessed on the cell phone, details are not suitable for minors. This time the voice is low, a venomous whisper two seats back; the ICE is just leaving Erfurt. “So, you thought the meeting was at eleven, so-and-so. What do you think I mean when I say nine? Do I mean eleven?” A look back: a fat man in an expensive suit. “Can you tell me one reason why I should keep you busy?” There are boss clichés that suddenly take shape. Then the cliché hisses: “Hello! Hello?” Apparently Mrs. So-and-so just hung up. We wish her all the best for her professional future. It can only get better. Joachim Kaeppner
In the middle of… Augsburg
(Illustration: Marc Herold)
The shortage of teachers makes it possible that not only people who have always dreamed of the profession and have diligently studied for the state examination are allowed to teach in Bavarian schools. No, even middle-aged masters of German studies with life and international experience are now romping around at the school, for example in Augsburg. In her first lesson on the other side of the force, the new teacher quotes from the pedagogical fund of her own children’s teachers. Motto for the German class, borrowed from an Australian primary school teacher in Singapore: It doesn’t matter what you do. No matter how you use this lesson. “It’s your choice.” A few weeks later, after a few reprimands for missing homework, I asked who remembered the motto. Response from a 10th grader: “It’s your shit or something…?” I agree! Susanne Perras
In the middle of…Ocean Beach
(Illustration: Marc Herold)
This Christmas tree may be beautiful, but certainly not crooked. It’s still stuck upright in the sands of Ocean Beach, San Diego, in early January, and then turns towards Mexico, the further up, the more decisively. The city administration has established rules of conduct. “Reserved for: View tree. Please refrain from blocking visibility with tables.” Who do you have to tell something like this? The young people sitting around smoking a smoke, no Marlboro by the smell? Or the guy in the hoodie crouching apathetically on the wall? A man with a red hipster beard wants to go to the beach with his dog. A speaker is already crackling: “Dogs only allowed after 4 p.m..” The man turns around, the guy in the hoodie stirs. “This is God speaking,” he says. “You have to obey.” Detlef Esslinger
You can find more episodes of the “In the middle of …” column here.