SZ column: The distanced “Ms. Gülberg” – Ebersberg

Hello, my name is Pola and I am responsible for you now. That’s always the first thing I say to my patients upon entering their room. There is no strict rule how we introduce ourselves to them, whether the first or last name is mentioned, everyone can decide for themselves. However, like me, it is the first name of almost all of my colleagues. I think that’s important, because introducing yourself by first name gives many an advantage during treatment – our language plays a much bigger role than you think.

For some patients it is important to call us nurses by name. But others also give up: There are three shifts a day, i.e. three different nurses who are responsible for one patient. The next day it may be that there are three others again. Then there are the names of the medical profession – quite a lot of names quickly come together that very few can remember, especially not when it comes to seriously ill people. Of course, they are more concerned with their state of health than the names of the people who care for them. That’s how it should be. That’s why many patients call us “sister” or “carer” at some point when they need us.

Intensive care specialist Pola Gülberg from the Ebersberger district clinic.

(Photo: Peter Hinz-Rosin)

However, I don’t conclude from this that my name is irrelevant and that I really shouldn’t have to mention it. Because it’s like this: We get very close to our patients physically when they are cared for. For example, helping someone go to the toilet is not on the same level as giving someone a haircut – we nurses are in our patient’s privacy. I want to create a sense of familiarity so that ideally these intimate interventions are less painful for the patient. He should feel as comfortable as possible, because that also contributes to his recovery. “Mrs. Gülberg” is always more reserved than “Pola” at first glance. I think that having a first name makes it easier to break the ice and build a relationship of trust that is still respectful.

Respectful interaction means that our patients are addressed by ‘Sie’, no matter how old they are or whether they use their first name. As a result, people are immediately treated with respect, also verbally – it is and remains there, even if we support them with intimate activities such as going to the toilet, which the patient may find uncomfortable.

There are two exceptions: People with a mental disability or dementia often do not react when they are addressed as Mrs. or Mr. Anywhere. Then the first or nickname is important and sometimes also a “du”. But this is not automatic: I would never address one of my disabled or demented patients by their first name unless relatives had expressly pointed this out to us in advance. Respect and familiarity are not mutually exclusive and both are strongly linked to our choice of words.

Pola Gülberg is an intensive care nurse. In this column, the 37-year-old talks about her work at the district clinic in Ebersberg every week. The collected texts can be found below sueddeutsche.de/thema/Auf_Station.

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