Recently, one of my patients wanted to slip me a 20 euro note. “There, sister, look, that’s for you,” he said. I took the money first, thanked him – and then put it back with the other bills when he wasn’t looking. We played the same game again later, he seemed to have forgotten the first round. This was no surprise as he was in a confused state.
It happens again and again that patients want to give me a bill. They do it to say thank you – like a tip at a restaurant. It also often happens with patients who are particularly uncomfortable with a situation and who think they are creating extra work for us nurses. This was the case, for example, with a woman who was given laxative medication and therefore had to use the toilet chair often. “Now you’ve had to clean the bowl so often,” the woman said to me when she wanted to give me a tenner. But I didn’t accept the money from her either. For one, because I was just doing my job. On the other hand, because we are not allowed to accept any money.
This is strictly forbidden during the stay of patients, we are not allowed to accept anything from patients themselves or from their relatives. That could be interpreted as an attempt at bribery – you quickly end up in the devil’s kitchen. Most people look puzzled when I say it like that. It never occurred to them that what they were doing could be interpreted as an attempt at bribery, because to them it was just a tip.
But in the restaurant in Germany you only give it afterwards, it’s similar with us: When the patients leave our ward, they are welcome to put something in our coffee till. We use this to pay part of our Christmas party, for example. However, sometimes patients specifically want to tip the caregiver who was primarily caring for them. I then put it in the coffee fund anyway – just pocketing it, I don’t feel comfortable with it, and in the coffee fund it benefits the whole team.
Intensive care specialist Pola Gülberg from the Ebersberger district clinic.
(Photo: Peter Hinz-Rosin)
In the case of the patient who wanted to give me 20 euros several times, there was another aspect: I would never accept money from someone whose head was not entirely clear. There are two reasons for this.
For one thing, it’s ethically wrong. After all, the man kept wanting to give me money, thinking he was doing it for the first time. On the other hand, he would have run out of money at some point, which would have confused him even more – some patients then become aggressive. That’s why I gave him the note again and again.
Pola Gülberg is an intensive care nurse. In this column, the 38-year-old talks about her work at the district clinic in Ebersberg every week. The collected texts are below sueddeutsche.de/thema/Auf Station to find.