SZ Advent calendar: sleeping on a folding guest bed at the age of 72 – Ebersberg

When Aleksandra G. came to Germany at the age of 43 with her then 13-year-old son, she had already had to go through a lot: she had lost her first child, she became pregnant again, this time she left her boyfriend and his mother, with whom he was alive – she was afraid of them both. She gave birth to her son and from then on lived with her own parents, who themselves lived very poorly in the country and ran a farm. But there she had to constantly listen to allegations because she had given birth to an illegitimate child. There were no distractions, the farm could hardly have been more isolated – it took three days by train to reach Moscow as the nearest major city. Even earlier, as a child, the now 72-year-old suffered from meningitis. Presumably as a result of this, she is still hard of hearing and finds it difficult to learn new things.

Although it was all so long ago, Aleksandra G. cries a lot when she talks about her childhood and family in Russia. It wasn’t easy for her. Your son should have it better one day, the chance of a solid job that he enjoys. So she packed some things when he was 13 and moved to Germany with him. Her sister already lived there. She never received support from the father of her child.

Aleksandra G. wanted to give her son a good education

The 72-year-old worked for many years, often in several jobs at the same time, to feed her child and herself. She was mainly employed as a nursing assistant in nursing homes and as a cleaner – her main goal was to enable her son to receive a good education and security. She learned German and now wears a middle ear prosthesis due to her hearing loss.

Aleksandra G. has been living in an intensively supervised residential community for elderly people with mental illnesses for a good year. Because over the years she developed severe depression, suffered from fears, was overwhelmed and felt increasingly lonely – probably also because her son increasingly distanced himself from her as an adult. He robbed her of all her savings, she says. In all the years that the 72-year-old has been cared for by the social psychiatric services in Ebersberg, the son has not once reported to his sick mother, says Aleksandra G.

On bad days, the 72-year-old can’t get out of bed

Aleksandra G. had to be treated clinically several times because of her depression. This was the last time in 2016, after which she was no longer able to work and was on sick leave until she retired. To this day she has good and bad days – on the bad ones she can’t get out of bed and cries a lot. On the good days, she visits the social-psychiatric day-care center and likes to help with the cooking, she prefers to cut the vegetables. “I’m best at fried potatoes,” she says. She also helps with cleaning the cupboards, surfaces and floors. And she also likes to cook for the others in the flat-sharing community and keeps the kitchen clean. But over the past few months, she’s had to slow down in everything. Because in addition to her mental illness, her heart is now giving her increasing problems.

Aleksandra G. is a modest woman. She doesn’t actually need anything, she says, although after deducting the rent she has just 500 euros to live on. She has neither a carpet nor a ceiling lamp in her 13 square meter room. Her bed didn’t cope well with the move to the assisted living community, it recently collapsed. Since then, the 72-year-old has been sleeping on a folding guest bed that belongs to the social psychiatric services. Five moving boxes with souvenirs and things important to her are still unsorted in her small room – like many people who have experienced loss, she finds it difficult to part with them. But there is not enough money for a chest of drawers to unpack things. And if she had a few picture frames, she could even hang up the pictures she had painted herself and make her room more homely with them – Aleksandra G. attends the painting group at the day care center.

Here’s how you can donate

Advent calendar for good works of the Süddeutsche Zeitung eV

Stadtsparkasse Munich

IBAN: DE86 7015 0000 0000 600700

BIC: SSKMDEMMXXX

www.sz-adventskalender.dewww.facebook.com/szaadventskalender

source site