Relationship study reveals the most common taboos in a partnership

Study reveals the most common taboos in a partnership

Most couples keep certain things secret from each other during their relationship

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Share everything with your favorite person? According to a representative survey, the answer of most Germans to this question is: Nope.

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Honesty and clear, open communication are two of several important cornerstones for a stable, balanced, healthy partnership. But do we have to share everything with our loved one? Hopefully not – according to a representative survey on behalf of the dating portal ElitePartner, the majority of people in Germany have secrets from their own partner: in.

The three most common secrets in a partnership

Around 4,000 people currently in relationships, selected as representative of the population, took part in the survey. 59 percent of them admitted they had secrets from their sweetheart. So far so good. But what are the taboo topics that our neighbors keep secret from their treasure? Dirty thoughts? Embarrassing youthful sins? Hurtful views? The most frequently kept secret is none of this: a good 19 percent of those surveyed said they secretly found another person attractive. For women the proportion was just under 16 percent, for men 23 percent.

The second most common taboo, which was mentioned by a total of 16 percent of the participants, however, according to the results of this survey, more women carry around with them: 18 percent admitted that they sometimes had doubts about the partnership they were saying to their: m partner: in silence, this was the case for 15 percent of the male respondents. Apparently, men and women alike keep the third most popular secret from their favorite people: 14 percent of those surveyed hide how much they have really paid for something (for example going out, electrical appliances and the like). That should make the joint budget planning of the couples concerned interesting.

Relationship: Study reveals the most common taboos in a partnership

Common taboos among women

Even if gender does not play an obvious role in what and how much we hide from our treasure, the results of this survey reveal differences between the answers of men and women for some secrets. No reason to draw conclusions and generalize from this, but remarkable.

For example, a good 15 percent of women admitted that they were sometimes quietly embarrassed by the behavior of the person at their side – 10 percent of the men agreed with this statement. A good 9 percent of the women surveyed also admitted that in truth they couldn’t really warm up to the hobbies and interests of their loved ones – 6 percent said that among men.

Common secrets of men

The second most frequently cited secret by men (almost 21 percent) is actually only guarded by 5 percent of women: They watch porn from time to time. Perhaps this inspires the imagination of some, because on this point too, the answers of the men and women surveyed are very different: 14 percent of the male survey participants stated that they secretly have sexual preferences that they would like to live out. Only 6 percent of women said the same about themselves.

Trust must not be abused

Overall, the results of the survey suggest that couples who have been together for a long time are less likely to keep secrets from each other than newly-married couples – which is not particularly surprising. Relationship satisfaction also seems to have an effect on the tabooing of topics: dissatisfied couples are more likely to hide something than satisfied ones. According to the ElitePartner study, most women in their 30s have secrets from their: r partner: in.

Regarding the classification of the data, the psychologist Lisa Fischbach from ElitePartner says: “The quality of a partnership is not shown by sharing the whole (inner) life with the partner. That usually only promotes excessive fusion and the loss of tension in the relationship A certain amount of secrets is therefore perfectly normal as long as the partner’s trust is not betrayed. Couples should learn to distinguish which content is valuable to share and which is harmful. ” And this works best with attention, empathy and of course: trial and error.

source: ElitePartner press material


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