Breakup Coach reveals the six signals that show your relationship is over
Sarah Woodward advises women in the darkest hour, she is there for them when the women suspect that their relationship is no good, but they don’t want to admit it to themselves yet.
Sarah Woodward has worked for large companies like Sony for years. When a close friend of hers went through a divorce, she realized how little help there was for women in this situation. From years of practice, she knows the most important “red flags” that indicate that it is better to break up.
Bookkeeping of expenses
At Woodward’s priorities, financial “abuse” is high on the list. What is meant is not fraud, but rather a creeping form of incapacitation. “One of the red flags is when the partner questions all of your expenses and starts reviewing receipts and bank statements.”
This control will force a self-employed woman back into the role of a 1950s housewife, even if she is working. An ongoing humiliation. In addition to the control partners, there are also the exploiters. “Are you being forced to take on debts in your name that you cannot repay while your partner is spending the money on himself?” Both are signs that the relationship must be ended immediately.
Affairs and Facebook control
Most people state that they would forgive their partner for an affair. Woodward knows from practice that this is not that easy. If only because there is no such thing as an affair without meaning. “An affair is often a sign of a failed marriage and a symptom of deeper problems such as anger, resentment, and loneliness, and differences in sexual desire.” The other is not the primary problem, but that the relationship is actually in ruins. “To move on and rebuild the marriage, you have to be able to forgive an affair, and that takes time and effort.”
In doing so, a woman must also recognize her limits. There’s no point in forcing yourself to forgive if you can’t get over the betrayal. “When you find yourself watching your partner’s every step and not wanting to take your eyes off them, or checking their phone or social media, then it’s time to break up and move on.”
No argument is not a good sign
Nothing but harmony in the relationship? Sarah Woodward doesn’t believe in that. No argument at all is a sign that both of you have already given up on the relationship. “Couples, at the end of their relationship, often hardly speak to each other, let alone quarrel.”
Woodward believes that arguing properly can build trust and intimacy. But that can only be achieved by a real dispute that names conflicts and wants to resolve them. If the arguments become a blame game and it’s just a matter of pointing a finger at the other, that’s a bad sign. “When you feel that you are unable to express your needs and wants in your relationship, it is time to leave.
It is quite normal for people to develop further. Where everything was common at the beginning, it can happen that wishes and goals develop in different directions. When a couple can compromise and both sides can find a way forward, it strengthens the relationship. But what if the partner feels like a stranger? “However, do you find yourself walking on eggshells or not speaking your mind in order to keep the peace?” The future cannot look like this, then it is time to leave the relationship.
The partner last
It is well known that sexual intimacy decreases in a long relationship. Woodward points out that emotional closeness is also decreasing. And that’s a problem especially for women. It’s easy to tell: Are the emotional moments still shared with the partner? Woodward asks. “Maybe your partner used to be a solid rock – the one you always asked for advice with, shared important moments or your latest mishap – but now call your friends first.”
In the long run this is fatal, but luckily you can counteract the emotional drought. You just have to try to do things again as a couple and to participate in each other’s life in general
Children as an excuse
Many couples stay together because it is best for the children. But that’s never true. “Children are clairaudient and absorb every negative mood, every tension and every argument.” One should not believe that one can hide such tensions from the children. Parents should be role models of healthy relationships, not tortured acting. Woodward advises trying to make children look happier when both parents are away from the house. That is an unmistakable sign of how much the children are burdened with tension. In the event of a divorce, both partners should jointly announce this decision to their children. And take time to ask questions. “Don’t tell them details and encourage them to speak to you about their concerns.”