Five and a half years ago, Antonia became a mother. But that didn’t make her happy, quite the opposite: she couldn’t take it anymore. Regretting motherhood. And that despite the fact that she loves her daughter.
Recorded by Katharina Hoch
This text comes from the stern archive and first appeared in January 2022.
Having a spontaneous spritz with a friend at 6 p.m. in the summer. Lying on a lawn and looking up into the sky. Being with people without looking at the clock.
I would like to live like that, or something similar. But that is not my life. Not anymore. And that has been the case for exactly five and a half years. Since my daughter was born. I love her and would never leave her. But if I had to decide again whether I wanted to be a mother, I would decide against it. Maybe then my relationship would still be intact.
We were incredibly happy as a couple. It was just perfect. We had a wonderful life. Then came the desire to have children, which was very strong for my ex-partner. Not for me. But I thought the idea was romantic. So we decided to go for it and had a girl.