Psychology: How to learn something from self-doubt

psychology
3 healthy types of self-doubt that can make life better

This text first appeared here brigitte.de.

Let’s not fool ourselves: even the most self-confident person doubts themselves from time to time. And that’s not so bad, because self-doubt is similar to perfectionism: There are unhealthy types of self-doubt with which we stand in each other’s way in the first place. But also healthy ones that advance, strengthen and help us to develop. We can even make the following self-doubts a habit in everyday life.

1. Am I making the problem bigger than it is?

Deadline missed, birthday forgotten, no time for your best friend, no money for a great wedding present, relationship at an end. All things that can stress us out and make us feel like a world is collapsing. But the truth is that more than 7 billion people are completely unaware of it.

We tend to see our problems, mistakes and blunders as catastrophes, when in fact they are mostly trifles (unless we are the oft-mentioned emergency surgeon on whose presence a human life depends). So it doesn’t hurt to simply ask us about one or the other “disaster”: Is it all really that bad or am I perhaps dramatizing a bit…?

2. Am I reading too much into this?

Who doesn’t know this: Someone makes a thoughtless statement (e.g.: “It would be best for you to have a vacation every four weeks”) and we feel very nasty about it (“Are you saying, I’m not resilient? Or lazy??”). But in truth, the statement was not meant as an attack at all, but maybe even nice (“As adventurous as you are, you need a vacation every four weeks”). Therefore, BEFORE we get angry and offended, we could doubt our interpretation of statements more often – and if necessary, simply ask.

3. Does this really have anything to do with me?

Tuesday morning in the office, the sun is shining – and your favorite colleague is totally short and funny. In such a situation, do you happen to immediately ask yourself what you could have done wrong? Well, maybe you should ask yourself if it’s really all about you? Maybe the colleague has stress with her boyfriend, stomach ache or just slept badly.

Everyone has so much to do with themselves, you are the only one whose life and mood you really have an influence on. So we can confidently question more often whether it makes sense and is right to relate the behavior of others to us place! And the same applies here: If in doubt, just open your mouth!

sus