Retired for a little over two years, Patrice Évra reveals in his autobiography I love this game, to be published on October 28, but including the British daily The Times publish extracts Friday, being sexually assaulted by his college principal when he was 13. His executioner, whose actions he had kept secret until he immersed himself in writing the book, then offered to host him three nights a week to save him endless trips back and forth between his commune of Ulis (Essone) and his new school.
“Thinking I was asleep, he would run his hands under my quilt and try to touch me, describes the former defender of Monaco, Manchester United or Juventus Turin in the autobiography in question. I knew what he was doing was wrong, so I tried to push him away and hit him. I was strong, but I was afraid […]. It could last 10 or 15 minutes, like a fight. He wasn’t kidding; he was trying at all costs to take my pants off. In the dark, he didn’t speak. But he was touching himself and the situation turned him on sexually. […] The last night at his house, when he knew I was going to go home, he finally got it. He put my penis in his mouth. “
“I want kids to have the courage (to speak out) and not feel guilty, because I’ve always felt guilty”
If his fiancée knew about it, Évra tells the Times not having informed his own mother until two weeks ago, inhabited during all these years by the ” shame “ and fear of the gaze of others. To the point of lying to the police, who called him when he was 24 to ask him if he too had been sexually assaulted by the said principal. “Obviously, she (his mother) was devastated. It was difficult for her. […] She realized that something was wrong when I told her that I didn’t want to sleep at the principal’s anymore. But I waited until I was 40 to tell her about it, says Évra. It was a shock to her. Lots of anger. She told me she was sorry. Not to put that in the book, that it was private. But when I told her that I was not doing it for myself but for the other children, she understood. ”
At 40, Évra understood how much his word could count. “I want the kids to have the courage (to speak) and don’t feel guilty, because I’ve always felt guilty, he said to Times. I’m not afraid to say that not talking about it made me feel like a coward for years to come. […] Living with it was one of my biggest regrets, because I could have helped so many people. I’ve had enough of this toxic masculinity. For my father crying was a sign of weakness, but it is not. […] I would rather be an inspiration and an example than a simple victim. “