Delphine Wespiser is a fan of NLP. We are not talking here about the rapper duo but about “neurolinguistic programming”. “That is to say the body, the attitude of the body”, affirmed the ex-Miss France in the first episode of traitors, the new game from M6, where the goal is to find out who is not straight. The candidate said she had “studied” the subject: “When you tell a story and scratch your nose, it means you are embarrassed. That works every time. »
Moreover, a little later, she surprised Vanessa Douillet in the act of tickling her nostril. “For me, according to her attitudes, she is necessarily a traitor”, she then did not fail to whisper. Bingo, the wife of David Douillet was indeed part of the trio of intriguers to be identified. So, infallible, Delphine Wespiser’s method? Absolutely not. If only because in the same episode, we saw other participants having itchy noses even though they belonged to the “loyal” camp with nothing to hide.
Blushing is not lying
“NLP is decried. It is not scientifically recognized, except on the accompaniment of traumas”, explains to 20 minutes Mathilde Héliès, the creator and director of Fullémo, a company specializing in emotional intelligence applied to the world of work. She specifies that Delphine Wespiser uses the acronym NLP incorrectly: “The observation of behavior and language is synergology. »
Is deciphering the attitudes of our interlocutor a good lie detector? No, sweeps Mathilde Héliès: “You have to integrate a whole bunch of parameters. One cannot take a simple observational factor and draw a conclusion. This is the thing not to do, this is how we fall into bias. A person may blush because attention is focused on them and not necessarily because they are lying. Similarly, nothing prevents someone from scratching their nose or ear or crossing their arms knowingly to mislead the person opposite, in order to make them believe that there is deception. »
Large margin of error
Eric Antoine, the host, did not deny the former Miss France on the air, but he confirms: “These are completely inexact sciences. The greatest experts themselves estimate that their success rate is around 70 to 75%. So that means that one time out of four they are wrong, that’s a lot in terms of the margin of error. »
The presenter, who is also a magician, says that techniques like NLP or cold reading – as well as the practice Sherlock Holmes interpreting an individual’s fingernail stains, clothing wear or body position – are techniques he uses on stage, like those who call themselves mentalists . “It’s growing because it’s legendary. It’s one of the things you want to believe because you want to simplify your life, says Eric Antoine. However, there is no simple explanation. Life, human thought, is complex. Scratching your nose as a sign of lying is bullshit. »
The truth is inside
If we really want to investigate and unmask impostors and other people who do not play fair, what strategy should we follow? “We can pay attention to the micro-expressions of the face, to the micro-muscles that are activated in a subtle and rapid way. But this requires keen observation. These expressions speak louder than gestures because they are not controllable, they have an instinctive, very sensitive side, suggests Mathilde Héliès. We can also try to detect tone modulations in the voice, which are also less controllable. »
The founder of Fullémo insists on the fact that “when we work on what we see, we miss the point. This is only the visible part of what is played out on an emotional level”. The truth is therefore elsewhere, more interior.
“Faced with the same trigger, in the same experience, each individual is sent back to different things. Her emotional state will be specific to her story and her experience: what happens to me does not happen to the other, she continues. The way to decipher a situation is only personal, you cannot draw a conclusion through your own reading grid. What is important is to enter into that of the other. Otherwise, the risk is to be led by the nose.