Retrograde Mercury
Mayo Astrology: What the mayonnaise on the bread reveals about our future — and why a manufacturer is now offering ‘readings’
The first “Mayo reader” reveals what the way we smear mayonnaise on bread says about our future.
© eugenekeebler / Getty Images
What the future will bring is written in the stars. And in the mayonnaise, or rather in the way we smear it on our bread. The first “Mayo reader” helps with the interpretation.
The stars are bad. Or better: the planet. Because Mercury is retrograde. Anyone familiar with astrology knows that this does not bode well. After all, he has a reputation for causing chaos and confusion. It’s supposed to be like this until June 2nd. The mayonnaise manufacturer Kraft wants to ensure at least a bit of planning security in the coming weeks – with mayo readings. You read that right: Mayo readings.
Instead of the coffee grounds, the future should be read from the blob of mayonnaise. The manufacturer even hired a “professional” for this. “Here at Kraft Mayo, we are champions of individuality, and the launch of the world’s first ‘Mayo Reader’ allows us to celebrate the uniqueness of Kraft Mayo lovers,” said the company’s Brand Manager, Frances Sabatier. This includes the way customers smear their mayo on bread. Because it is precisely from this Mayo deletion that the committed “seer” is supposed to foresee the future.
Mayonnaise reveals the future
However, the company itself does not take the initiative it initiated very seriously. Because the supposed look into the future throws someone who is known for a completely different skill: humor. Comedian David Lebert embodies what he points out as the uncertified Mayo reader. Through May 26th, he’s sharing his respective interpretations of the upcoming future online, spiced with a good dose of silliness. Anyone who shares a picture or video with bread plus mayonnaise on Tiktok or Twitter and sets the appropriate tags can take part.
What is this all about? According to Sabatier, the company stands up for things that polarize people – like mayonnaise. “So with the introduction of Mayo readings, we’re throwing ourselves headlong into the controversial cultural debate surrounding astrology,” Sabatier explains. Well then, get it.
Source: Food and Wine