Tina Frey and her fiancé sent out the first invitation cards on paper, in a nice old-fashioned way, with a name stamp. Then came the virus. And the wedding date on July 18, 2020 first became June 19, 2021, then July 16, 2022. Instead of elaborate cards, the couple eventually only sent save-the-date messages via Whatsapp. “It’s looking good this time,” says Frey, “the pastor and the DJ still have time.” So it’s quite possible that two years after the civil wedding, the couple can finally step in front of the altar together.
Never since the Federal Republic came into being have so few couples married as in 2021, the second year of the pandemic. show that provisional figures from the Federal Statistical Office. This is of course due to the pandemic restrictions. But the question is also: How has the virus affected marriages beyond the numbers?
“For many, the big celebration is already the first or second anniversary,” says Claudia Steinert, a wedding planner from near Berlin. A large proportion of their customers have already been married in a civil registry office. After a break of almost two years, the Steinert season is now really getting going again. Only recently she received another request for the end of May. That was previously unthinkable. But: “We can also express.”
What has changed in the meantime? “The couples have had time to go over the plans again,” she says. Some have raised the budget again – and their claim too. If you’re going to celebrate, then do it properly. Admittedly, Steinert specializes in high demands, she plans weddings and parties from a budget of 600 euros – per guest and per day.
If you listen to the wedding planner, you get the impression that the pandemic has not dampened the desire to travel, but rather fueled it. It’s called “Destination Wedding” in technical jargon, or also: “Elopement Wedding”, i.e. “elopement wedding”. One of Steinert’s couples decided to move the celebration from Berlin to Ibiza during the pandemic. With all 50 guests.
Johann-Jakob Wulf, who runs an agency for free weddings, tells of a couple who – instead of the big celebration – decided on a mini-ceremony on Mallorca. Only with wedding speaker and sunset. Nevertheless, Wulf has the feeling that most couples want a really big celebration, especially after all the restrictions. Grandma and Grandpa included. “You can tell that family has become more important.” Wulf and his colleagues have also observed something else: Many now prefer to celebrate at off-peak times, i.e. during the week or on public holidays, and they do it with a shorter lead time. It wasn’t any different for long enough. The wedding speaker does not believe that virtual ceremonies via Zoom and Co. will prevail. He did that two or three times, “but that simply contradicts the idea of celebrating together, you just want to touch each other.”
Two years later there are guests that one would like to uninvite
Ah, the pandemic. Wulf had his special experiences there: there was the maid of honor, who aroused the bridal couple’s displeasure for reasons of refusal to vaccinate. Or the postponed celebration, where suddenly twelve more children were on the guest list, keyword: Corona babies. “It messes up the whole day’s schedule,” says Wulf, “suddenly it’s about naps and childcare.”
Tina Frey’s guest list has also changed over the past two years. Five children have been added (not counting those of the currently pregnant guests), as well as a handful of new friends, both of whom met on a trip through Central America. Anyway, guest lists. Some couples even face the problem that after all the appointment hustle and bustle they don’t want to invite the same people as they did two years ago. Claudia Steinert, the wedding planner from Berlin, had such a case – with quarreling business partners. The guests concerned would then have elegantly canceled themselves.
Even more has changed for a groom from Bavaria over the past two years. In September 2021, he and his wife celebrated the civil wedding. Due to the pandemic, two guests had to wait outside the door during the wedding. This summer, the big celebration with 130 people would have actually come up. The couple has since split up. Not because of, but during the pandemic, both of them realized that somehow it didn’t fit. “It was not a pleasant task to tell everyone,” he says on the phone, and you believe him immediately. For once, Corona wasn’t to blame for the long break between the registry office and the big party, he says. “It’s just a tradition here in Upper Bavaria.”