Erling Haaland is tall, blond, unsightly but above all much too strong for ordinary mortals. The proof, the only ones we think of comparing him to are fictional characters: Ivan Drago, Thor, Brienne of Tarth, Paul Mirabel… oh no damn. Unlike them, the Norwegian from Manchester City only kills figuratively and rarely with panache, but his efficiency alone is enough to classify him among the stars. Saturday, against Leicester, in the Premier League, he slammed a brace in 25 minutes before going out at half-time, and we are not even talking about his fivefold space against Leipzig in the round of 16 of the League of champions.
In the spring well established and for his first season in England, Haaland is therefore at 47 goals in 40 games. And unless you’re a football mechanic and your name is Thierry Henry to talk about the forward’s room for improvement on the variety of his calls depending on the preferences of his teammates, we can’t find any more areas for him. ‘improvement.
An unsuspected lodger
It is therefore necessary to export oneself outside the field to find something to perfect the fair-haired person. In January, in the newspaper The Teamagent Rafaela Pimenta urged her player to “assert his personality full of joy in front of the media”, to get rid of the robotic label that sticks to his skin and pushed SoFoot to wonderrightly so, if, all things considered, Erling Haaland was just a mere cyborg.
For Pimenta, exposing his client’s enthusiasm is as much about doing him justice as it is about providing after-sales service that has never been done before. In Salzburg, he was the “wonderkid” at the top of the hype. In Dortmund, he was content to continue on this path, without seeking to bring a touch of humanity to his reputation as a rough brute. He had at most vaguely attracted sympathy by chambering PSG in the round of 16 first leg of the Champions League (2020) and sulking about his rating on FIFA 22, which was worse than that of Mbappé. Nothing more.
It is therefore only today that we discover Haaland. The character would boil down to more than heavy hitting, working out in the weight room, morning sunbathing, cryotherapy and vegetables (even eating lasagna prepared by his father before each game). Joys of digital archaeology, by dint of scratching on google, we end up finding humorous qualities in the Norwegian. Last summer, Jack Grealish confided that his new teammate had chambered him from the first moments on his price to sweep away expectations. “He said to me: ‘I cost twice as much as you, so I don’t have the pressure’. “BAM!
He plays the camera game but “does not do extras”
“I find him quite entertaining and funny when he’s on camera,” concedes Sam Lee, Manchester City journalist and savvy follower for The Athletic. The latter is however a little more skeptical about the alleged change of media course of the Skyblues striker.
“I don’t see much difference from the start. He honors the obligatory interviews in front of the cameras after the games, but that’s it. Last weekend, Haaland passed us in the mixed zone for the second time this season. It was quite funny, there was Bernardo Silva with him, he grabbed Haaland and kinda threw him in the lion’s den asking us “hey you want to talk with Erling?” But he made his way, too bad for us. All that to say that it does not make extras. »
In comparison, Kylian Mbappé is Byzantium. But let’s not overwhelm the Scandinavian, far from having the monopoly of silence in the face of non-rights-holding media at the exit of the stadium. No more people are talking to us, and Haaland is following suit. For the image, it is better to go to the cameras. And on this ground, although it remains difficult for us French to get our hands on field journalists who have had the chance to speak to him, there has been a marked improvement since his arrival in the north of England. .
Erling Haaland’s recent antics:
>I lift Bernardo Silva like a degenerate to celebrate a goal
>I don’t care about Stones by imitating his French accent. “Le Louuuvre”
> I mow the lawn at the Etihad Stadium and fuck me like a dead rat in a spot for Sky Sports while all my teammates are in Qatar for the World Cup
>I room Micah Richards and Jamie Carragher and sit at Thierry Henry’s table (context: guest on the Paramount set alongside the three former players after his five-fold against Lepizig, Haaland subtly launches Titi “I think you you’re the only one here who knows how to score a lot of goals”, causing general hilarity)
> I judge my performance “shitty” during a flash-interviewhave me censored and taken over by the journalist who asks me to watch my language
>I room an Everton player by stringing together 56 different grimaces in less than two seconds
>I’m a masochist: “People will think I’m a psychopath, but I like to take a beating (during a match). »
“He’s quite a character, and that’s what he does that he is really appreciated, comments the journalist from The Athletic. He is a player who seems to have no enemies. Loving Haaland even seems to come naturally. In Manchester in any case, he fascinates. People want to go to the stadium to admire it in the flesh. “To see him score a lot of goals, of course. And laugh, why not.