During the past two years of the pandemic, New Year’s Eve was mostly a rather private event. The New Year’s party was either forbidden, frowned upon or subject to many conditions. This time, the turn of the year lies ahead of us like a promising range of possibilities – and that’s where the stress begins: firecrackers, parties and the question of who, where and how to spend the evening. Hans-Peter Erb conducts research at the University of the Federal Armed Forces in Hamburg, among other things, on the subject of judgment and persuasion. As a professor of social psychology, he knows what makes people spoiled for choice. And why having fewer options is often better.
SZ: Mr. Erb, celebrations are actually fun. Why are some people still so stressed out before New Year’s Eve?
Hans-Peter Erb: There are too many offers: which party do I want to go to, who do I want to celebrate with? Maybe you would rather stay at home and just do nothing special? Many people are under pressure to be able – and have to – choose between so many different options. The phenomenon now has its own name: fomo.
You mean “fear of missing out”, i.e. the fear of missing something.
I agree. It was different 150 years ago. There might have been a celebration at the rifle club in the village. Then everyone went there. Or you stayed at home – those were the alternatives.
Sounds like a luxury problem, the luxury of too many options. Why is it so difficult for us to enjoy this luxury?
Because of the supposed responsibility that goes with it. The large selection signals that it can be a perfect evening – if you only do the right thing. And the larger the selection, the more attractive the offer appears. At the same time, however, it also suggests that anyone who has made a decision will almost certainly miss out on another attractive option. So many, even when they’ve made a decision, just think about what they might be missing out on. And if it was nicer somewhere else. And the whole thing starts over.
Now you’re talking about Fobo – “Fear of better options”, i.e. the fear of having missed a better alternative.
Right. When you find out on January 2nd that a lot of my friends were at a great New Year’s Eve party and I wasn’t, you quickly feel left out. Everyone needs a sense of belonging. Being excluded really hurts, even physically. Research shows that brain regions that activate physical pain are addressed.
Why do we make it so difficult for ourselves? After all, it’s only about one evening, the next day it’s all over anyway.
That’s exactly the point: the uniqueness! New Year’s Eve only happens once a year. So I can’t say: This week it didn’t go so well, I’d rather do something different next week.
Prof. Dr. Hans Peter Erb.
(Photo: Ulrike Schröder/HSU)
In recent years, there have been fewer choices about how to spend New Year’s Eve. Some even spoke of Jomo – “Joy of missing out”.
The point is, it made it much less likely that others could have made better decisions. This also reduced the stress.
Do you have a last-minute tip on how New Year’s Eve can still be nice?
One can try to get out of the trap one sets for oneself – by limiting one’s choices in the first place. And that reduces the many options, the social comparisons and the fear of missing out. Then you can think about the most important thing: what you actually want. Because that is often forgotten with all the many decision options.