relationship-off
High earners’ dating problems – she’s turned off by his lack of cash
She works long hours, he has no ambition (symbol photo)
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She has found the perfect man – for herself and her little daughter. But he earns little and shows no ambition to change that. She pays all the bills and gradually the way she looks at him changes. The manager wonders how to save their relationship. She doesn’t see herself as a Sugar Mama.
No more housewives and dependent – women today are successful and have an income. And that brings new problems. A British woman – mother with daughter – is anonymously seeking advice on the Mumsnet forum. Her problem: After a few months together, she is increasingly turned off by her partner because he has no money and trusts that she will take care of things.
Not a good prerequisite, because the woman separated from her daughter’s father because he exploited her financially. It fits into the picture that the child’s father hardly contributes to the maintenance.
She – pseudonym “OreganoOregano” – works in senior management and makes over £100,000 a year, he only makes £25,000. They got to know each other in the company and only slowly appreciated each other. She had to recover from her ex first. In principle, the money is not a problem, according to the anonymous mother. She estimates that if he pushes hard, he could get where she is in three to five years. As a business woman, she clearly told him that he had to earn more in the long run so that a long-term relationship was realistic. A mistake is not possible, she explains when asked in the forum, of course she noted the conversation in the calendar.
Little ambition with him
Her job is about commissions, she goes on to explain that you have to work long hours to be successful. At first he held his own. But today it looks like this: “I pay 99 percent of the costs, including the cost of a holiday, for all meals away from home and he always stays with me. I have even already paid for his meal with his parents.”
Unfortunately, she has now really fallen in love. “He really is the most loving, kind person, gets along fantastic with my daughter.”
But now that she’s noticed his work ethic is slipping, she’s “slowly fed up.” Her question to the community: “What would you do in my situation? The head says to end things. The heart is begging me to give it a chance.”
No silver bullet for them
There is advice, but no real help, because opinions are divided. Many believe that he is just using the rich girlfriend. One commented: “Unfortunately you have to end this. I would be completely reluctant. Like you, I work incredibly hard and expect people to motivate themselves. Be nice to him but say it doesn’t work that way.” Others find that they look down on their partner. Who can’t really help that she doesn’t have a man with a super income. “Let him work at his own pace and find a man with 100,000 instead. You’re not fair.”
But she doesn’t want to break up: “He makes me feel safe and valued and I can say with all my heart that I trust him, which after an abusive relationship is not something I thought I had would ever feel again. Everything in our relationship is great, it’s just the finances.”
The best advice she’s been given, and will probably take, is to limit spending on him and keep working with him on his work ethic.
Source: Mumsnet