Coming out day
These dating apps are for queer people
Coming out is often anything but easy. Dating apps help you get to know like-minded people.
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The coming-out day is intended to encourage lesbian, gay and queer people to come out on their own. These are the dating apps of your choice.
Every year on October 11th is international Coming Out Day. This day has been a fixed date for the gay and lesbian scene in the USA since 1988, and Switzerland was the first to join in Europe in 1991. Liechtenstein (1997), Great Britain (2000), the Netherlands (2008) and Germany (2009) took a few years longer. Because classic dating apps like “Tinder” or “Bumble” are aimed at a heterosexual audience, alternatives have developed over the years. Queer, gay, lesbian: these are the three best dating apps outside the mainstream.
“Lex”
The Lex app is a successful Kickstarter project and online since 2019. Based on classic personal ads from the 1980s magazine “On Our Backs”, she started as “Personals” initially on Instagram: For a fee of five dollars, users were allowed to post their personal ads. However, New York-based maker Kelly Rakowski quickly realized that she was not reaching the target audience she wanted to reach: queer people.
As other channels on Instagram began to fill this gap, Rakowski launched a Kickstarter campaign in 2018. “Lex” went online in November 2019. Part of the concept of the app is not primarily to present yourself with images. Instead, the focus is on the text that is intended to address the digital counterpart. According to its own description, “Lex” is aimed at a queer, transsexual, non-gender-compliant, non-binary audience and is available free of charge for Android and iOS.
“Romeo”
The most widespread portal in German-speaking countries for men who are into men, is called “Romeo”. The site became popular under the name “GayRomeo” from 2003, and from 2011 until the summer of this year it was called “PlanetRomeo”. Because much of the content of the sex-positive community would not be compatible with the guidelines of Playstore and Appstore, there is a guideline-compliant, slimmed-down app for Android and iOS.
“Romeo” enjoys the reputation of the “residents’ registration office for gay men” among its users. This is exactly what makes the difference to typical dating apps like “Tinder”: Instead of having to decide for or against someone based on a profile, those who are willing to flirt can search for location or preferences on “Romeo” and have them written to and from across the board. Men who are still wrestling with their coming-out will probably not find a connection anywhere in the German language as easily as in “Romeo”.
“Her”
Launched as “Dattch” in 2013, queer and lesbian women have been flirting and dating since a rebrand in 2015 on the “Her” app. There they swipe left and right as the mainstream knows it from “Tinder”. But in terms of content, “Her” distances itself from it. On the “Her” homepage, the makers explain why, in their opinion, it is not enough to be able to search for other women on “Tinder”, “Bumble” and Co. as a woman: “Many mainstream apps put queer people in front of a specific one Problem: presenting themselves to ‘unicorn hunters’. These are straight couples who are looking for a third party (usually a queer woman) to fulfill a fantasy. “
For queer people, it is said, such encounters often trigger a feeling of alienation: “Queer people experience unfriendly interaction on these apps at best and hostile at worst.” The concern of “Her” is therefore to provide a “Safe Space” for its users. The app is available free of charge for Android and iOS, there is also the option of a premium subscription without advertising content and with incognito mode.