Cognitive and anatomical benefits, “liberating” effects… Would sex toys be perfect for seniors?

If you are told overflowing libido, quest for pleasure, SM games and vibrator, perhaps you will remember a scene from Fifty shades of Gray, the erotic romance adapted to the cinema. You may also remember with delight your last naughty night. On the other hand, you will undoubtedly visualize less a couple of seniors enjoying with a sextoy or a septuagenarian with a silver bun pull out a clitoral stimulator from the drawer of her bedside table. However, before being seniors, the oldest among us also had a sex life. And for many, advancing age does not sign the end of fulfilling sexuality.

So, on the occasion of this Thursday of International Sex Toy Day, 20 minutes a question arises. Is there an age, or rather an age limit, to get it right with these toys? Between discovery of your body, sexual and psychological well-being and anatomical benefits, sex toys may well be even more suitable for seniors than for the youngest.

Taboo “silver sex”

Yet, in public opinion, imagining sexually fulfilled grandparents is almost impossible. “Silver sexuality” cannot be a reality, it can only be a chimera. “Genital sexuality among seniors is a big taboo in our society, which imagines that as they age, these men and women have more affective and emotional sexuality. A sexuality which is limited to caresses and to what some call “preliminaries”, in any case to practices which are not of the genital order “, decrypts Dr. Patrick Papazian, sexologist and co-author of the books Pamper your vagina (ed. Larousse) and Prostate (ed. of the Opportunity).

“The taboo of age is well established, confirms Patrick Pruvot, founder of the brand. Passage Of Desire, the French brand of “love stores”. If sexuality has become a topic of conversation that we approach quite freely, however, a grandmother will not necessarily admit to her granddaughter that she has bought a sextoy, while the opposite could be true. “. However, “a significant proportion of seniors, alone or in a couple, have an active genital sexuality, just like the youngest,” says Dr Papazian. We must therefore stop infantilizing them by making them regress to the stage of asexual beings, simply because we cannot imagine that they can have a “raw” sexuality like any adult ”.

A “liberating” effect

Moreover, surveys show, there is no age limit to enjoy your sex life. According to a survey carried out in September 2019 by
Senior citizens’ observatory, “45.6% are fully satisfied with their sexual relations”. And rather open to the idea of ​​giving pleasure thanks to sextoys, since 38% of the senior women questioned affirm that it is easier to reach the orgasm thanks to a companion with batteries.

Thus, Eliane *, in her late sixties, now has a sacred collection of sextoys. However, it is late, after her divorce, that the sixty-year-old discovers adult toys and the sensations they provide. “During our thirty years of marriage, I had a fulfilling but conventional sexuality,” she describes. Not really a playground where it was possible for me to give free rein to my desires and fantasies. It was once I was single, well after my menopause, that I really explored my sexuality and bought my first sex toys. And I made very good use of it! »A collection that she did not hesitate to use when she met new people. “Discovering on my own, with my sextoys, what gave me the most pleasure was very liberating: when you know what you like and what you want, this leaves no room for embarrassment or taboo with others . It was from that moment that my sexuality became more fulfilling than ever ”.

“Contrary to popular belief, there are fewer taboos among seniors,” approves Patrick Papazian. Especially among women, who feel freed from many constraints: no more rules, more children to raise, for them it is a period of discovery and exploration. And there, the sextoys arrive at the right time ”. And it also works as a couple. “When we have shared decades of life together and a purring sex life, trying sex toys is a fun way to spice things up”, continues the sexologist. It is moreover “often the women who take the step to buy a naughty accessory to revive the desire in the couple”, observes Patrick Pruvot in its signs.

Multiple benefits

“More and more in consultation, the question of the use of sex toys is regularly addressed by older patients, notes Dr. Papazian. Beyond the toy, we are dealing with objects with multiple benefits. They can be of real service, both in exploring your body and understanding how your pleasure works, and in overcoming the number one enemy of old age: loneliness. As we advance in old age, due to divorce or widowhood, we can go through periods during which sexuality is lonely. There, sex toys are good for morale, but also for the body, ”explains the sex therapist.

Because the function making the organ, “anything that helps maintain genitality and sexual functions is very beneficial,” he says. Especially for women, after menopause, where the risk of dryness and vaginal atrophy is increased when you “do not use” your vagina. Anything that allows for sexual activity is good for maintaining a toned, responsive and sensitive vagina, and ensuring sexual comfort. Especially since at this time, a longer and more intense stimulation may be necessary to have pleasure. A sextoy can therefore also be a complementary companion for the senior partner ”.

And men also find their account there. “There are more and more sextoys – masturbators or cockrings [anneau pénien] – which help maintain erectile function by promoting vascularization, adds the sexologist. All these devices can make it possible to overcome certain anatomical difficulties, while stimulating cognitive functions, continues Dr Papazian. In short: sex toys are also good for neurons ”.

“There is a real niche of” silver sextoys “to take”

In view of all these benefits, one might think that sex toys are even more suitable for seniors than for young people. ” It’s exactly that ! There is a real niche of “silver sextoys” to take, “assures the sex therapist. And he is right, because it is a new segment that the market leaders are already trying to conquer.

Thus, the Passage Du Désir launched a special seniors box a few days ago. “It includes the” Womanizer “, the clitoral stimulator that has conquered women around the world, as well as a lubricating treatment”, describes Patrick Pruvot, founder of the brand. An offer that makes sense for the entrepreneur, since “the septuagenarians experienced May 68, the struggle for women’s rights and sexual liberation. However, the sex toy market and associated marketing have developed with complete indifference to them. We are far from Sweden, where some sex toys are reimbursed by the equivalent of Social Security. However, this is a factual and marketing error: for brands, seniors represent a new target to be conquered, we are becoming aware of this and are working on new generations of sex toys to seduce them ”.

* First name has been changed.

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