Ansbach: Police officers locked in a cell – Bavaria

A comedy without a touch of tragedy is usually a mediocre piece of theater. And you can experience this even better at the Bavarian district courts than in the theater. Things are no longer royally Bavarian there today – but they are often royally bizarre.

In general, you can often find out more about the state of a society at local courts than anywhere else. For example, if you asked the Federal Police where officers have to do their jobs under highly questionable conditions, the answer would probably be meager. Of course, if federal police officers have to testify in court as witnesses about – let’s call it – structural peculiarities at their workplace, they are obliged to tell the truth. Like everyone else.

And after this prelude, now straight to Ansbach, where federal police recently had to testify in court as witnesses. And – this is the tragic part of this story – they had to give information about an almost fatal day in their civil service career.

According to the indictment, it was like this: A man is said to have used a train without a ticket, two officers from the Ansbach Federal Police Station were called. When they arrived at the, well, crime scene, they discovered: The man was under arrest. So I had to come along to the inspection. There, in the absence of a real cell, he was placed in a kind of improvised glass “cell” – the specific form of which will be discussed later.

First, a look at the arrested man: He took off his clothes in the “cell” without comment. And called the officers “pussies” to – as the prosecutor explained – “express his contempt.”

On top of that. In an unobserved moment, the man, now naked but clearly highly versed in engineering, removed the door lock circuit board and smeared the card reader. The glass enclosure could no longer be opened from the inside.

Which almost proved fatal for the two officers – who immediately noticed the damage and entered the “cell” without a radio or cell phone. People were trapped, the air in the tiny glass room with no fresh air supply became worse and worse, and the officers panicked. In their distress, they decided to use the bench to punch a hole in the glass wall.

When you pulled the bench away – you fortunately discovered the hidden circuit board. The officers used this to get out of this very special federal police cell, which was around three square meters in size.

Is it made of glass? Yes indeed. Firstly, it serves as an entrance and security gate. Secondly, as a kind of foyer where visitors can raise their concerns. And thirdly, when there is a need, as a safe “containment room”, commonly known as a cell.

The arrested man, apparently a nudist, was sentenced to 16 months in prison without parole for, among other things, deprivation of liberty. So now – should the verdict stand – go to a cell. But not in the Ansbach Federal Police Station.

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