For the last two weeks, an SZ editor’s cell phone has been ringing, always the same zero eight hundred number. Finally he answers – and is very surprised. Three anecdotes from Germany and the world.
In the middle of … moated castle
Illustration: Marc Herold
The cell phone buzzes. A zero eight hundred number. Yet again. For the last two weeks, I’ve been getting calls, whether at home in Wasserburg or on the road, at all imaginable and unimaginable times. Maybe important? This time I answer. A friendly gentleman from the telephone company asks: “Is everything okay?” Well, I’ve been to the doctor a lot lately, including in quarantine. But it’s better to ask anyway: “You mean health-wise?” “No, no,” explains the voice: “With the mobile phone contract.” Oh, everything is fine with him. The voice says goodbye contentedly. So they rang you up for 14 days for this banal dialogue? I should have shouted that excitedly into the phone. But I haven’t and I’ll regret it soon. So here: Tell me, dear Telekom, are you all right, I mean in terms of your health? Joerg Buschmann
In the middle of… Berlin
Illustration: Marc Herold
Being chatted up by complete strangers on the street is part of everyday life in Berlin. People want money or cigarettes, they want to flirt, sell things to others or just express their opinion on the world situation. So there is nothing unusual about the woman who asks something from everyone who comes towards her in West Berlin. Not even the increasingly frustrated expression on her face because everyone is walking on, shaking their heads. Only: What does she actually want and why is she trying her luck here, in front of a remote swimming pool? Then she comes up to you and asks: “Do you have an FFP2 mask for me?” While you’re still thinking about what kind of new scam it is, she quickly says: You don’t have any with you, but you need them to be let into the swimming pool. Verena Mayer
In the middle of… Marsa Alam
Illustration: Marc Herold
Egyptians are often religious and rarely blue. But the Red Sea in Egypt is incredibly blue. Blue and cold as hell. Winter holidays in Marsa Alam: instead of skiing over steeples, why not go snorkeling next to mosques? One gladly takes on the blue chill for a glimpse of an ocean dweller called the manatee. With the dinghy we go into the waves. A body dives under the boat, graceful and nimble, not at all cow-like: the manatee in the freezing cold water. A cowbell would be just as out of place on that cow’s neck as a church bell would be in the mosque. You yourself would now like to have the skin of a manatee, because the neoprene suit doesn’t do much against the hellish cold. Trembling, afraid: does the manatee board the rubber dinghy? Result: The boat is not a nave, the sea cowlarization does not occur. Corbinian Eisenberger